Thursday, October 15, 2009

Lots to say!

I have sooooooo much to say, and my fingers just won't type fast enough to get it all out quickly!!
Yesterday I spent the entire day(from 7am-9:30pm) on the east side of the state!! {ie; hopefully my new home someday!}


I had a meeting/conference call with *The Arthritis Foundation*! I had never been to their office in Troy, so I was pretty excited. I got to see a couple of the ladies from Camp Dakota {a camp for kids with arthritis} and I got to meet the new development manager and brainstorm on fundraising and volunteer idea's! It was a great experience and I can't wait until December for the Jingle Bell Run{S}.

It's going to be so fun! I still gotta find some silly outfits though :)


After I left Troy, I stopped in Lansing to see my PB ! He took a half day so we could hang out for a while, such a nice guy. We chatted and chatted, then we decided to watch a movie. He let me pick. Eagle Eye. SUCH a good movie :) I haven't been able to watch a suspenseful movie like that in such a long time!! None of the guys I hang out with like to watch scary movies. And since I live alone, I don't really like to watch them by myself because {Hello my name is Rachel, and I have a problem..} I tend to 'hear' things and freak myself out after watching scary movies. Plus, while watching them, I tend to be a little jumpy{at every loud noise in the movie} and that tends to irritate people. Not my PB though :) He even rubbed my back for 20 minutes because I had told him earlier in the week how bad it had been hurting. Man did it feel better after that! :) He even gave me a shirt to wear since I was in my 'cute work' clothes and those are umcomfy to watch a movie in, as I was putting my coat on {yes over his shirt, I sure did wear it home! haha} he hugs me and goes; 'want me to walk you to your car?' I laughed so hard and definitely took him up on his offer, my car was all the way around the corner after all :) He laughs at me being so girly, he likes it though, I just know it!

I suppose that's all for now. Thanks to Cassie for posting this for me, since once again blogger doesn't work at work :( Le Bum

Monday, October 12, 2009

A Reason, A Season, & For Life

Have you heard this saying before?
God brings people into your life sometimes for A Reason, A Season, or For Life.


I have heard this saying quite a few times, especially lately.
It seems so fitting to my life right now too! So it's great. :)

I believe God brought RD in my life for a reason, so I would give my heart to Christ. No question about it. I also believe RD was in my life to show me what unconditional, self-less, love is. {or was, in our case} He also taught me how to stand up for myself when I wasn't happy with a situation {ie: breaking up with him}

TD was brought into my life for only a season, a really good season. But for only a season. In a bittersweet short amount of time he "taught" me independence more than anything. He showed me what a good man looks and acts like, and that there are genuinely good, Godly men out there still.

For life though, God has brought me a BFF :) JSC, or should I say CWK{that looks weird! just gotta get use to it!} Though a few times we have parted ways, somehow we have always managed to get back in touch. I know God has had a hand in that, always. The thing I love the most about her, is sometimes, we're back in 5th grade, can't stop giggling and laughing and being just plain silly, and other times, she is the shoulder I use when I am crying out to God for understanding. She is my random road trip buddy, lunch on the Calder plaza, and my "guess what I'm doing.." text message :) haha. Noodles and PopTarts, I heart you Boo. :)

More later on :)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Boy oh Boy

This week has flown by!

Mostly because I have been "drugged' since Monday!

I know in my last post I said that the doc had put me on Darvocet, well, by Thursday I was getting frustrated, because my back wasn't feeling ANY better. So I called again. {true story} So my doc sent out another perspriction {apparently she didn't think it was Shingles anymore..whew!}. This time it was for muscle spasms. Now we're getting somewhere! Yikes though, I slept 10 hours, woke up in a "cloud" and have been there ever since. Everything seems to be fuzzy and in slow motion. And my back still hurts.
Since the meds aren't helping though, I'm not going to take anymore. And {I guess} just deal with the pain. Atleast I'll have my wits about me! {Hopefully...} I'll have some major listening to do, since my BFF just got engaged last night!! I canNOT tell you how excited/happy/giddy/in love with love I am! And also {hopefully...}being part of a wedding party!
All I want to do is go home and sleep! I was in bed by 10:30 on Friday, woke up at 7:30, took a nap from 1:00pm-3:30pm, was in bed for the night at 7:30pm and slept until 6:30 this morning. hmm..

Anyway..Im going to go call P and see if he'll come in early for me.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

{private}

Part of the reason I got deleted my facebook account (for now, not forever) is because I felt like (and this is my fault) nothing about my life was private. Whether it be friends writing personal things on my wall, or family commenting on my pictures at get togethers.

I feel a little more comfortable on here writing things, because only 3, maybe 4 people read this! 1 of them lives out of state (hellloooo Angela!) And the other 3(Kris, Cas, and use to be Merr..until she had a baby!!) I tell pretty much everything I write anyway.

That being said. I went to the doctor yesterday. My back has been hurting for about 5 days. Usually I don't have pain in my back, so I figured it was worth the co-pay to get it checked out. and the doctor said (yikes!) I might have SHINGLES! (I feel like dooce.com haha) I don't have the "rash" yet though, just the pain. I am on Darvocet every 6 hours as of right now. Even though, I can't take it and drive, so I haven't taken one yet today because boy do they make me drowsy! I'll be able to take one after my 2nd job tonight, around 930 and get to sleep in because I have tomorrow off, both jobs! Who's excited?...this girl.

I am a busy little bee for the next little while, and that makes me happy. I have two 'awareness' walks this Saturday and Next. And on the 14th I get to drive to Troy to sit in on a conference call as part of a committee for the Arthritis Foundation! (ps, I also got the chance to be a volunteer for a benefit for them last week..!) Things definitely feel like they are falling into place alittle bit with that part of my life. When I was at The Tribute To Excellence Benefit. I had someone come up to me and tell me that they had been wanting to meet me, and they had heard some great things about me. {wow!} It was a great night. They really would like for me to get more involved for the Arthritis Walk this year. I just don't know if I have the energy. I'll pray about it.

I suppose that is all for now.

ps- Happy 9 month birthday to my sweet, perfect, beautiful little niece. I love you!

Saturday, October 3, 2009

With drawls..

I am on blogger! At work!

I have been having some serious with drawls of blogging lately. Especially since deleting my facebook. {gasp!} I know, sounds like absolute craziness to do that, but it's the right thing for right now :)

I have spent a lot of time in prayer for the past couple weeks. Actually, at first, I knew I should be praying, but I knew I wasn't going to want to hear with Someone was about to tell me. So I put it off, because, well, I'm human, and sometimes I just want what I want, my conscience be damned. However, these things have a way of catching up with you.
Sometimes, I have a pity party, because of my arthritis. And so I just decide to push it to the back of my mind and not take care of myself. Then I end up getting sick and have LOTS of time to think about how if I would have just stayed on the 'right' path, I would be healthy right now and not missing out on things. And as my PB pointed out the other night, things could be a lot worse.
I need to toughen up a little bit.
Which will not be easy, I have been spoiled by pretty much everyone in my life. So I've gotten "soft", as a certain PB let me know. I definitely want to "remain me' as cheesy as that sounds. But since I don't feel like God has told me it's time to settle down and get married anytime soon, I need to be able to handle things on my own. Especially because I have really felt the pull from Him to move away from home for a little while at least, hopefully with the Arthritis Foundation.(another post to come on that!)So really need to figure out how to let more things roll off my back, and to not let myself get down on things I can't control.
That's a lot to accomplish! Good thing I'm not alone. :)

Moving on..I really hope blogger keeps letting me log in at work!
I feel like there is more to say, ohwell :)

Friday, September 18, 2009

hello stranger!

So I am getting super frustrated with blogger.com at work. Its been close to a month since I've been able to access the site and vent or gush or anything!

I have had a very busy summer! Between New York twice, camp, going to the Youp, taking day trips, and trying to work a little here and there haha.
Next weekend (the 26th) Jen, Kelly, and I are going to Detroit for the night..just because! I love nights like that!

I have been wanting to blog about my 2nd trip to New York, like I did the first time. but it was quite different this time, for one, I was there for 3 more days than the first time. And two, we did lots of different things. But I'll save that for another time, maybe. It's almost so special that I don't want to share it with anyone :)

Lets see, oh! I am actually typing this out at work, in an e-mail, saving it as a draft..then copy and pasting it into blogger.

I'm not sure how many of you follow the blog www.mattlogelin.com ....if you don't you should. When I first started reading, it almost depressed me. okay, not almost..it did. So I had to stop reading for a while, but the more I thought about it, it's such a great blog. Matt is hilarious and I look forward to his updates. He is having a charity event tomorrow actually in MN and since I couldnt go, I donated and got a shirt! It was fun to get a package in the mail :)

*Random*- When I was 20, then guy that I had been dating for almost a year and I decided to take a 'break' {whatever that means when you're not official..but whatever...} and I met this other guy, SV, and we hit it off, and he was the first {and only} guy to ask me to be his girlfriend..it was so cute. He would come pick me up, wanted to meet my whole family, wanted to hang out with his and my friends, want take me out on dates, would bring me lunch at work... he was pretty darn great, except he smoked. Anyway, that lasted about a month haha, and then I got back together with the first guy {stupid!} And I maybe saw him 4 times since then, once just a couple months ago, I went over to his new house to catch up, and it was nice. So today, as Im working I hear the doors open and I look up, and there he is! He is on his college's bowling team and they practice at an ally near my work. And he says he passes by my work every week day and sees my car, and today he felt like stopping in to see me! It was nice, so we chatted for a few minutes, then wanted me to walk him out to his car. So I did. And we talked, and he wanted a hug, and said if it was okay he'd stop into see me again sometime.
That was a nice surprise :) And man, is he cute. Short, but cute. haha

Okay, have a good day!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

{update}

Hi!

It has been quite a while since I have been able to get on this site! I usually blog at work, but for some reason..it has not been letting me log in!

I have so much to catch up. I just got back from Camp Dakota on Friday, that's the camp for kids that have R.A.

I'd like to vent about the bad news I got from my specialist yesterday

And about my upcoming trips that I am pumped about!

stay tuned for hopefully another update today :)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

surprised...happily

I know there will be atleast one person, who will not be happy to hear what I am about to say...
But, that's life :) haha.

I had a really really nice conversation with someone on Sunday. Like, a 6 hour nice conversation, filled with prayer and honesty, forgiveness, and kindness.

It was unexpected, but I feel so much peace right now.

This person has been raised in a Christian home, has excellent inspirational leaders all around them, and he too, feels alone sometimes(boy, did that make me feel better. This man has always been able to make me feel physically attractive. But on Sunday, he made me feel beautiful spiritually. We talked about how different our lives are, because of our 'spiritual' support systems. And how, I have no one to lean on, look up to. And he has many people. But then he said how, maybe even soon, I will be much stronger, spiritually, than he is, because I have no choice but to lean on The Lord, where he still makes the mistake of leaning on his family sometimes, when he should be looking to Jesus. Wow, has he grown up lately. It was our first 'real' talk I think we've ever had in the 6-ish years that I have known him.

And, it's a little scary, because his name is Stephen.

Yes, Mama, I know how you feel about this...but I'm just not sure yet...

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I have heard time and time again, that some of my best qualities are also my worst qualities...how do I change that about myself?

I feel broken.

My mom came to drop off some of my medicine that I left at her house yesterday, and I walked her out to her car, and ended up crying, right there in the parking lot. I haven't done that in a loooong time, not be able to hold myself together.
I want to apologize to my friends, because when I feel like this, I am not fun to be around, and I know that, and that is why I push you away. I'm sorry.

I have been told that I have a big heart, and that I give all of it, too easily. I am too trusting. And that is why I get hurt sometimes. I put myself into things too much, too quickly.

I don't know how not to do that though.

I sometimes hate how my boss pry's into my personal life; today, as I am taking a break in our back office, (I have my face in a book mind you..) he comes back there and asks how Church is and I say it's fine, trying to keep my answers as short as possible so hopefully he'll get the hint and oh I don't know, stop talking to me on my break, but no. He goes on to tell me that I am admirable, because I wasn't raised going to Church, and I don't have a 'support system' from my family, because no one else in my family goes. And how I go to church alone, and he thinks that's so great. He asked how I keep my head up, and keep going. I just answered that I didn't know, I just kept going. But the answer is that I am lonely, and that is the only place I feel peace.
It's not that I sit home alone on my nights off, and sit in the dark and sulk, I go out and have fun with my friends, it's just not where I wish to be.

Feeling like this is dangerous right now; my 'comfort zone' (ie RD) has been wanting to get together lately. It's been hard saying no to him. He knows how to hug me and make me feel better, in the moment anyway.
I keep telling myself to just worry about today, not about 5,10,15 years down the road..so why not try to make myself happy for today and see him? Because I will feel even more lonely if I do, I think.

I have been asking God for a lot of things lately. Mostly for Him to give me reasons as to why things happened the way they did. Why He planned actions to go the way they did. I know I will probably not get an answer from His mouth to my ears. While that would be great, it would also not test my faith. It's so easy to have faith when things are going so great isn't it? It's definitely another thing, when you feel like a shell of a person, to keep trudging through and singing His praises, when you don't know why things had to go the way they did.

I do feel like God is pushing me to be more on my own. I'm wondering if the 'non-believers' in my life, are (unintentionally of course) bringing me down. I am having more patience with this, then anything in my life. I am feeling restless and cooped up. But as we all know, I am a very emotional girl, and have been known to make rash decisions. I need to be careful with big decisions. I wish I had been more careful with my heart. Can't dwell though.(as I am still upset 5 days later haha..)

My heart is also heavy for a spectacular woman who has had an incredibly difficult week. It seems the hits keep coming from out of nowhere, and she just doesn't have a moment to herself. I wish I could make her see how grateful I am to her for making a difficult decision, I'm just not sure how.

I need to figure out how to keep my heart in check, it's hard because I feel as I've done a pretty good job, and have really only lost my heart to 3 guys as far as I can remember...as I reflected yesterday, the first I was just completely infatuated with him. Completely caught up. He probably hurt me the most though. It feels good to have forgiven him, and able to talk to him every now and then, and genuinely care how he is doing :) Boy, the second though..he completely rocked my world. He taught me lots of new things. He also showed me that I have 'stick-to-it-tive-ness' I truly loved him, and I back that with my actions. That I wanted to be with him, wanted him to have his own time, his time with the guys...3 years is such a long time to give yourself day after day, especially when you get taken for granted day after day. He was not always all bad though, and I hate that I still get upset when I hear someone say something negative about him. I wonder if I'll always feel that way? I am so grateful to him though, he introduced me to Jesus. Not just by telling me how wonderful He was, but by showing me through his day to day life, how much Jesus was involved, and how great life can be when He is by your side. This guy however, did not bring Jesus into our relationship. That's probably why it didn't last. I can't say for certain though, as God does not answer all of our questions of why. The third, while brief, and only a friendship, was the only 'relationship' I have ever had, that I felt God lead me to and was a part of. It was respectful, intense, kind, and happy. I wish everything was like that, only longer :)

Since this is longer than I thought; I'll leave with a verse of comfort:

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

And because He knows, then I shouldn't have to worry. His will, will be done. I am nothing but a humble servant. Amen.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Hills and Valleys

When it rains, it pours.

I have a lump in my throat as I am mentally scolding myself for getting emotional at work. But, I need to vent, and everytime I try to talk about it withone of my close friends, I just tear up and the conversation goes nowhere.

So, as much as I would like to let it all out...I've been told a couple times by a couple of people that I over react, and that I am dramatic.

So I'll just keep this to myself.

Thanks Kris, for being the only one who listened and just let me talk. I really really appreciate you.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

3 posts in 4 days?! Get out!!!

I am going a little "blogger crazy" the past couple of days...it's probably because I have been working by myself and am booooored..AND I am exhausted, so this is going to help me stay awake. Or, maybe it's because I want another Shout Out on Angela's blog for doing so well with keeping up with mine :)

{quick note to self-} taking a 'night time' cough medicine at 1:30am, when you have to wake up at 5:00am, is NOT such a good idea.
In my defense, I was so miserable from not being able to sleep that I didn't necessarily read the bottle that said it was 'recommended' that I get 8+ hours of sleep when taking this.
Oops.

Oh well; live and learn as they say.

I thought I would use this post to catch everyone up on what I have been up to since I've been home from my little 'adventure', especially people that I haven't seen. {insert a clearing of the throat noise here, Mama.}

I got home last Sunday {I can't believe I've been home for a week already!} and instead of unpacking, went for a quick 2 mile bike ride. ...after sitting in my car for the past day and a half, I was ready to stretch my legs and be outside for a little while. {another quick note to self..make sure to eat before you push your body like that..I was shaking when I climbed off my bike :) } After that I did a couple loads of laundry, made all of the phone calls I needed to, to let everyone know I was home and in one piece.
I don't think I took a nap, but I might have..after a while JSC, being the great BFF she is, stopped by to see me for a while before her weekly Sunday meeting. Then she asked if I wanted to take a swim in her dad's pool later that night. Obviously I wanted to :)
So, I hung out around my house a while, headed over to see my dad, and then headed to my 2nd fathers house :) We decided it was too chilly to swim, so we just hung out and talked{she let me gush} for a couple of hours instead. It's so great to have a friend that will just let you go on and on for hours :) Heart you Boo.
Monday I got up and had to work. I was in my bathroom getting ready and doing my hair, and my elbow hit my can of hairspray off the counter, that and my hairbrush and phone. I'll give you 2 seconds to guess which was the one and only item to land in my toilet.
Yep, you guessed it. RIP strawberry chocolate, I miss you already. Needless to say, that put me in a lovely mood. I was ready early so I thought I would stop by my parents house on my way to work, and give my mom a chance to cheer me up :) I walked in the door, and there layed my niece on the floor, rolling over, and then she saw me and I got the sweetest gummed smile ever.
My bad mood, gone.
I was so happy to see her that I kicked off my heels, and crawled over to her and laughed with her for about 10 minutes before I had to get to work. She is the best medicine. No questions asked. After work I stopped back over so I could hang out with Baby B some more and catch up with my mom. It was also nice to hang out with my S-I-L when she got out of work too.
My mom let me borrow her phone for the night, because my S-I-L & I were going to go phone shopping together the next day, since she needed a new phone too! Perfect.
So I went home, caught up with my PB, since he had rented a house for the weekend in Grand Haven with some friends, and gave me crap for not coming out. We talked for about an hour and a half, and then I felt it....
My left gland was swollen. I figured it was just because I was tired, so I took some sore throat medicine and was in bed by 9, and since I didn't have to wake up until 8:30 the next morning, I figured that would be enough time for me to kick that bug out of me. Wrong. I woke up several times during the middle of the night because I was in so much pain. Finally at 6:30 I got out of bed and e-mailed(I didn't have her number memorized, so I couldn't call her..) my friend Sarah from work and let her know that I was going to try to get into the doctor, and wouldn't be in to work. My doctor's office was so busy, that I couldn't even get in to see my doctor, it had to be his assistant, and they were being generous by squeezing me in at 2:00pm. So I went and waited and sure enough, I had strep throat. Gah! I haven't been sick in quite some time, so I really shouldn't complain, but Summer is the absolute worst time to get sick! But..silver lining? I lost 2.5 lbs :) Happy Girl. I have been trying to lose about 10 lbs. Hence my biking and walking...but now I know..just get sick! haha just kidding, but I'm still happy!
So I got a doctors note saying I couldn't work at either job the next day, and put on antibiotics for 10 days. These specific antibiotics bring up the toxicity in my arthritis medications. So I can't take those for 10 days, and one medicine, for 14, to make sure the antibiotic is out of my system completely. Wow. okay, I can deal.
Except I didn't. I was running a fever and felt like crap and was all alone. Which I can't really blame anybody since I was contagious. I did sleep a lot on and off though.
I was going to text JSC from my moms phone to tell her the 'good' news, but my moms phone had shut off and wouldn't turn back on..wtf? So I let it charge for a few hours, and nothing. .. So there I was alone, afraid that I was getting a kidney infection, and now, there was no way I could contact my family to come bring me to Urgent Care...F...M...L...
I woke up feeling better on Wednesday and just kind of hung out, and in the early afternoon my mom finally stopped by to check on me since I hadn't called her back. She brought me some Popsicles, and orange juice, and french toast sticks (God, I love that woman!) So that perked up my spirits some, and I slept on and off for the rest of the day.
Thursday I went to work, and had the best work day I have had in a long time, thanks Merr! I went to my parents for a hotdog dinner, and then headed home. My night sucked though because I couldn't sleep for more than an hour with out coughing so hard my eyes were watering..so I would prop myself up, and then I would wake up from pain in my neck from sitting like that for so long. So I moved from my room, to the couch in the living room, to the couch in the 3 season room, to guest room, and finally fell asleep there for a little while. I called into work again for Friday at about 1:30am and was able to sleep again until 5:00am, was up for about 3 hours and then fell back asleep until 11ish. I felt much better,so I did a bunch of cleaning and since I wasn't contagious went over to my parents house to see Baby B. Had hamburgers on the grill with my family, and then went home to relax with my friend JV. She was so stinkin' cute and brought me a little 'care package' complete with Chicken Noodle Soup, Figi Water, Spree's, and Chocolate. What more could a girl ask for? We were going to watch a movie, but we decided to talk for about 4 hours instead :) Only if we had, had wine, I couldn't have imagined a better Friday night spent with one of my girls.
Saturday was probably the longest work day known to man. I was semi- bummed that I couldn't be with my friends while they were cooking out, but I did make time and a half, and wasn't feeling all that up to getting crazy. And this way, everyone else could spend time with their families :) Plus, 4th of July is not that big of a deal to me anymore, now that I am not with a certain someone and spending the whole day boating and grilling and stuff. This was the first year that I was actually okay not being there. Go me :)
Today I feel MUCH better. still a little tickle in my throat, but with some rest tonight, that should be gone sooooon. Just in time for my week off! :) Man I planned that right haha. Now I just have to figure out what I'm going to do wth myself..I have a few idea's :o)

ps- This weekend marks a year of me living alone. My first night there, I thought for sure I would only make it a week or so and want to move back home. I'm really glad I stuck it out.

Okay, that was a little longer than I thought it was going to be.
Glad we are all caught up now!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Thoughts.

Lately, I'm not sure why, or to whom, but I have felt the need to prove myself, and my Independence.

I haven't been asking for help, with some of the things I should from the people around me, instead I am pushing myself too hard, and taking risks that I shouldn't.

I have been asking God for strength and courage to do a lot of things lately, when really I should be asking Him for patience and contentment.

And with that, Happy Independence Day everyone :)

Thursday, July 2, 2009

.....

I have to admit, that I am a little tiny bit nervous about my next post. I have been thinking about what I am going to write since last Wednesday. And while, I am than willing to relive my 'weekend adventure' ....I'm also kind of wondering if a certain someone is going to read it.

Oh well right? This is my blog with my thoughts...so there :)

I will try to post a little more 'in depth', when I can.

BitterSweet ;

bittersweet-

–adjective
1.
both bitter and sweet to the taste: bittersweet chocolate.
2.
both pleasant and painful or regretful: a bittersweet memory.




Bitter is the feeling of driving 10 hours alone, back to my house, back to my life, back to a time with out him.


Bitter is the feeling of knowing that I have never be treated as well by any other man, than him.


Bitter is the feeling at my heart, knowing that I may never get to feel those feelings ever again.


Bitter, is the feeling of the battle I am fighting with myself, because I had convinced myself that this would not happen.



Sweet, however...




Sweet, is the feeling of his hand on the small of my back after he holds the door open for me as we walk into a restaurant.


Sweet, is the feeling of his breath on my lips, his hand buried in my hair, and pulling me closer...


Sweet, is the feeling of his hand on my knee, as we wait for the light to turn green


Sweet is the feeling that I have as he kisses my hands and makes me forget about every insecurity I've ever felt..


Sweet is the feeling I have when we're out to lunch, holding hands across the table, and I see an older woman looking at us, and then looks at her husband grabs his hand, and then winks at me with an understanding...


Sweet is the feeling that I hold on to each morning, when I want to get in my car, and drive 10 hours to do it all over again...

Sweet is, knowing that God was in this, and that He made it worth it..

Sweet is...



















...this man.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

To my Unicorn...

It is so perfect that today is Fathers Day considering my yesterday with my dad :)

So, it was a GORGEOUS day yesterday..and after brunch, I went over to my parents house, picked up a couple of things that I needed and then decided to wash my car, my moms car, and my dads car..hoping to get a little bit of sun. My mom was potting some flowers, and since my parents just put another deck on their house, my dad was putting in a couple of flower beds for my mom(he is SO good to her!) And so when I was done washing, my mom and I were sitting on the deck above where my dad was working and basking in the sun..and we were looking down at him where he was pounding the last couple of boards into place when all of a sudden he drops the hammer and drops to one knee gripping his head. my mom flies down the side of the hill and I run to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth to clean out any wound he might have gotten. Somehow..as he was pounding in the nail...the head of the nail (that's the flat part, girls) flies off, and into his EYE! He tells my mom to tell me that he's fine (even though I am 24 years old..he still wants me to think he's indestructible...) and she did. After a little convincing from my mom, he jumps in the shower and we are off to Urgent Care. We get in pretty quickly and the dr. says he is SUPER lucky that it did not hit his Cornea, and he just got a little cut and it should be fine. Thank you JESUS for keeping him safe! So his vision is fine and he will be back to 100% in a few weeks. Boy was it scary though!

I hope and pray daily to find a man like my dad, I often joke with my parents, that because they spoil me so , that they have ruined me for a man :) It's hard to imagine that there might be another one out there as giving as he is. Another man that, if our daughter or son has something wrong with them, that they would start looking for a 2nd job so we could afford their medicine and doctor bills, or a man, coming home in his 3 piece suit would not only laugh, but join in on the water fight that was waiting for him behind the bushes and in the garage. ... Or a man that would stay up for countless hours with sick kids, rubbing their backs, getting them water, and fanning them, trying to break their fever. Is there a man out there that, when his daughter gets cramps for the first time and doesn't know whats going on, other than thinking she might be dying, will leave work to take her home from school, stop and buy her a chocolate chip cookie, a Slurpee, a new heating pad (he didn't know where ours was, and didn't want to make me wait while he looked), 3 movies, and then, when she just wanted to sit by him under her blanket, he sat there..engulfed in heat from the heating pad in June, sweating to death, but did not move because she finally fallen asleep.
I could go on and on and on about how good my dad has treated our WHOLE family..but I think you get the picture. This doesn't even touch what an amazing, patient, husband he is to my mom either..there isn't enough words for that. And although I don't think he reads my blog..just in case he does one day, and looks back through my posts, I want him to know that he is still my hero, my Unicorn, because men like him just don't exist :)

I love you Dad.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Weeks jumbled into 1

I have LOTS of things to say, so let's get down to it;

There is this blog that I have been reading. .....by this amazing writer, with the most incredibly sad story. And while, I'm almost addicted, I feel I've found the reason for my funk the past couple of days, well part of the reason. While I don't want to go into that because I am already getting tears in my eyes, and sniffing like my deviated septum surgery went way wrong and now I am having blood clots run down my throat... I will explain some other reasons.

I have been having some major body issues for the past hmm..umm..well week-ish. I hate body issues. H.A.T.E.

Usually....I am pretty satisfied with how I look {cost enough to anyway haha} especially if I wear blue lately with my darker hair, I don't duck when I'm passing a mirror if you catch my drift.

But lately, inside and out..not a big fan. That's neither here nor there. I'll try to think of something else to write about, not dwell on the negative stuff in my life..whoa who's mature? {totally rhetorical..cause it's me!}

I don't think TD reads this anymore, so I think I'm safe to post about my little adventure of going to visit him in New York next week. I am beyond excited about this, for a number of reasons;
First, I get to see him! That in itself is a reason for a road trip.
Second, I am driving, by myself to New York . crazy! But so dang exhilarating. I am doing some major {in my eyes anyway} by myself! Stay tuned on how it goes. As of right now, I plan on staying in West Lake on Wednesday Night, and then going from there to my final destination on Thursday. But after driving for almost 6 hours on Wednesday..hopefully I'll have some {or maybe just one?} fun stories from the road. This is coming at the perfect time too ,because I definitely need a break from people. Certain people that I shouldn't talk to or see for a while...this kind of forces me, in a good way, to do that.

I also want to send up a quick prayer for the rain to stop in time for my PBs sisters wedding tomorrow..I've heard that rain on your wedding day is good luck for the marriage..but I think brides might have a hard time believing that when they are in their white dress and want outside pictures :)

I can't believe all this rain that we are getting today. It woke me up 3 times this morning {around 2:30 I think} and it's pouring again now. {1:38pm} and I sure hope I have time to take a nap after I get home and before I go to my other job. And I really really hope that the mall isn't busy tonight. I am not in the mood for people. I am in the wrong business for sure haha.

Stay dry if your in G.R.!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Hypothetical, of course.

Did you ever have an event that happened in your life that, in that moment, you can't imagine being anywhere else or do anything else, than just that? Even though you know it's probably not a good idea to be doing that thing?

And then, weeks after, that's all you can think about, still? And it drives you crazy? And you want nothing more than to go back and do that same thing you were doing, in that same place? Though sometimes when you look back, if you hadn't done what you were doing, you wouldn't know what you're missing now? And maybe you wouldn't be feeling the feelings your feeling?

But the more you think about it, over and over, you can finally decide. How completely and definitely you know...

it was worth it.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A Memorable Memorial Weekend


Although I had to work every day this weekend, I still have a smile on my face from it! I had a rocky start because of a 'fight' with one of my cousins..I get that people say things when they are upset, but she is just mean sometimes. .. Anyway...I worked myself out of that mess (which surprised me that I was that upset about it..hmm) And went for a 2 mile walk in the gorgeous weather, did some laundry and just had a nice night in :) <- That was Saturday.


Sunday I worked until 4..went home and cleaned up a little so my friend MW could come over and decide what we were gong to do that night. See..we actually went to highschool together, and from the great goodness of facebook..we started talking..in January. We found out that we are definitely only friend material, but we dig that. So, a couple of months ago..he moved to North Carolina. He hearts it there. But this past weekend, one of his favorite cousins got married and he came up for that. He promised me a while ago that next time he came back home I would get a night all to myself with him..I have to be honest..I thought he was full of shit. :)




Even when he said something about hanging out..I thought we'd go out for dinner or to a movie...meet there and then part ways. BOY was I wrong. (insert yet another happy face) He came over and we decided to go downtown to Founders Brewery, I had never been there before and was pretty darn excited. I was even more excited that for once, I did not have to drive!! So we went..tried a couple (okay..3) different kinds of beer (Bourbon-ish something..pretty good...cherry something..very good..and an IPA something..G-ross). After that, it was still light out and the weather was SO nice that we decided to go for a walk. We walked through downtown to the Button, one of my favorite places to go in G.R.(MW was feeling quite masculine so he even picked me up and put me on the button! I heart being picked up..makes me feel little) . And then just walked and walked and walked. We then went to the infamous 'Tire Swing' by the Calder Plaza. Which was a little intimidating for me..because it's alittle high up and it was dark by the time we got there. But he pulled me up and then jumped off a couple of times so we could actually swing. The funniest part of the night I think was when I was trying to get down..it was still kind of swinging a little and I was afraid to just jump down..because it was dark and it was kind of high..so finally he just grabbed me right above my knees and flopped me over his shoulder and carried me through the plaza..haha. It was nice..because he was still gentle with me and didn't hurt me at all..even when we held hands.




We then went back to my condo and watched Dane Cook until I fell asleep. He woke me up so I could lock my door behind him. Whew! It was an eventful night! He is now back in N.C. though..kinda sad. But here are some pictures from our adventures on Sunday;













































^ ^

This is when he was picking me up..look how red his face is! haha
























Look how cute we are! haha















<- I think this one makes me laugh the most..it's also his profile picture on FB right now..haha





















Ok scratch what I said...the next 2 are the funniest..enjoy!


























Gangsters....



















Cute













Tire Swing ->






So then..on Monday night..as I finish watching the Bachelorette (heart! go Jake!!!) I get a phone call..from my PB!! Of course we just talked and talked for about an hour and a half..and we decided that we need to get together and have a night set aside for 'deep conversations' because we're both always so tired that we never really get in to anything. So he told me to just pick a date and either I'll go there or he'll come there..and we will just talk all night. Then I get breakfast!
Ok..I am off to hang with my little cousin...have a good night!

Friday, May 22, 2009

To post..or not to post...

That is the question that I have been asking myself for almost a week now. Just because I'm not sure who, and how often they read my blog. And I always try to put myself in others shoes...but today..no, this is my blog, and if you don't like what I have to say..then there is a little 'x' in the top right hand corner of the screen..feel free to click it to navigate away from my page.

Wow..bad attitude. But today, well..I just don't care. You don't care, so why should I?

I am probably making a bigger deal out of this than I should, like most things in my life..but I'm upset, and a little hurt. So I'm going to blog about it.

Lets make this in to a hypothetical situation shall we?

Lets say, one way or another, you start talking to this guy. He is cute too. And you are kind of (not so secretly) thinking that this might actually go somewhere..someday, because he doesn't live in the same state, like he lives 10 hours way. Which..to you..isn't really that big of a deal, because there won't be any 'intimate' moments, shall we say, until you get married anyway. And you're actually excited about going to visit him, and taking a mini vacation together to, lets say, Chicago. {This is coming off in a way more 'pissed off' tone than I'd like..but again, ohwell} You've even put in lots of time and thought into this guy, because you're excited and happy. Then..a new month rolls around, and he is jam packed with plans, no big deal, you think, you'll just back off this month a little , and then next month, is the month you're suppose to go to Chicago, so that's great! But little by little, you can tell he's losing interest, just by the way when you e-mail or text him and ask him how his weekend went, he's happy to tell you in about 5 words, and then doesn't ask about your weekend, or even how you're doing. Then finally..you go days inbetween hearing from him, or rather hearing back from him, because you are always initiating the e-mails/phonecalls/text messages. And then you dig deep down for enough courage to ask that scary question ' we're not getting together anymore, are we" You don't even add a question mark, because honestly, you know it's just a statement. He lets you know the next day that he feels that you two don't hardly talk anymore, so he's not sure. So you e-mail him, to let him know that you do still really want to see him. When there is no response for over 2 hours, you text him, asking for thoughts on your e-mail...when there are just crickets for over the 6 + hours, you tell him that you'll just take it as he'd prefer not to talk anymore, unless he tells you otherwise, and have a great weekend. And that's it. The guy that tells you that 'not all guys are the same' and not every guy is going to hurt me or be a jerk to me. There are still good guys, like him, out there and I'll see.

Thanks for proving my thoughts on guys right, Tom.

whew...I have been upset about for almost a week now :) I feel better. Life moves on I know. I'm sure I'll meet an amazing guy someday, and even if I don't.... he did make me see that I can get excited about a guy again. So that's good news.


This post is bumming me out, so I'm done for now. I have lots of excited news to share though, so maybe I'll post after I get some more coffee..that always cheers me up. ..too bad you can't date a beverage.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Ah-Ha

Have you ever heard that expression? Someone had their 'ah- ha' moment? whether it be, they saw that they needed to lose weight, or they did something the wrong way, or realized that wait a minute, if I do this, I will get a different outcome!?

Well I had one today. My ah-ha moment is that I realize that people think I am spoiled and don't know how to fend for myself or take care of anything. Which, as I'm standing here, feeling sick to my stomach, maybe it's true? My parents have sheltered/spoiled/taken care of/ looked out for, me on overtime since we found out I had arthritis. Maybe I did take that for granted? I always always appreciated it though. I have been blessed with such great parents. But there comes a time where you need to grow up, mine is now, since I can no longer be covered under their insurance.
Deep breath, and no crying.


My dad has excellent insurance, and now as I am trying to find my own, and figure out a way to pay for it(my car, my credit card, my cell phone, my many medications, dr. visits, etc) I am a little worried. I am also trying to not to freak out over the information overload. I have no idea what any of the insurance jargon means, or if it's a good 'deal' for my situation, or if it's too much money, or if I should call this number for 'kids' getting off of their parents insurance. . . . which I don't want to do, I just want to be able to do one damn thing by myself.
This is where certain people, have made me feel ridiculous for asking certain questions, or not knowing certain things. Certain people, that just offer up their opinion, my feelings be damned. I feel like I am going to make a mistake because now I feel like I have to prove it to everyone around me(with the exceptions of my parents, and you Mama), that I can handle things by myself, with no help. And apparently no hours at work. (different story for a different time)

I feel defeated, and like I am not going to ever be independent. Now I don't want to get married more than ever.

Sorry about the 'woe is me' post, I just don't have anyone to vent to...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

....

I really wanted to post something today, but I just can't come up with anything fun. I guess I can come up with a few randoms?

~It's raining.
*when it rains like this, it reminds me of a time when I was working downtown and my PB went and got his car out of his lot(that was free) and pulled up to the front doors of our building..bought a newspaper for me to use as an umbrella, opened my door so I could run right into his SUV and then brought me to my parking lot, which was about a block and a half away, paid $3.00 to get in that lot and pulled up right next to my car, opened the door on my car, started my car, and then opened my door on his car.

~ I hate when people feel entitled or deserving.

~ I will be leaving my house for work at 4:30am for the next 2 days, and won't be getting home until about 10pm. yikes.

~I'm looking forward to my pedicure on Friday

~I think I'm going to Washington D.C. in July.

~I am feeling needy lately, I don't like it.

~I ignored RD's attempt at manipulation last night, pretty proud. Mama?

~I miss Brylee.

~I hate when friendships feel one-sided.

~I think I burned myself at the tanner last night. oops

~I'm nervous about a big decision I have to make in the next 10 days.

~I'm done; have a good day :)

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Random's

So today, is alittle slow at work..so I am 'blog bouncing' as I like to call it(starting now), and I found this girl that had a random list of things, and I heart randoms!



{1.} I am 24 years old..wow it feels wierd to say that!

{2.} I am excited for my little alone 'adventure' this weekend!

{3.} I have to get my own health insurance by this month!

{4.} I'm scared about that!

{5.} I don't like growing up

{6.} I never thought I'd have to do this by myself.

{7.} I have to 'pop' my left elbow several times a day

{8.} I'm not sure marriage is in my future.

{9.} I think I might be okay with that.

{10.} I think this girl, MH, is awesome for helping me through this blog on gmail chat, thank you!

{11.} I would make a great assistant because I am excellent at anticipating needs

{12.} I am glad that AC will forever remember my birthday because of what happened on it!!(conrats again!)

{13.} Just between Monday and Tuesday, I had already worked 30 hours.

{14.} My friends got me so many amazing gifts for my birthday.

{15.} I heart Jesus.

{16.} Only an hour left of this job today! Woo!

{17.} I feel disconnected to a few certian people lately, and I wish that was different.

{18.} I am going to pray on how to fix this.

{19.} I would like Kristi , JSC, and Angela to send post some randoms too!

ps; Life- live it & love it.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Rough.

Today....I am struggling. All of a sudden my eyelids weigh about a gazillion pounds and I yawn every 2 minutes.

I. am. tired.
not just tired. tired. BIG difference.

I have had a ton on my mind with the Arthritis Walk, I have even dreamed about it! So I haven't been sleeping as well as I could. Then yesterday, as I was parking my car in my garage and unloading my bags of things from my day, my phone rings. There were a few people I thought it could be, but it wasn't.

It was my PB . That's right! A phone call out of the blue. I love those. We got to talk for a little over an hour and a half and catch up on how our weekends were. He is doing a bunch of travelling for the next few days (lucky!), and we got to talk about our upcoming week too. Then we talked about my birthday dinner :) He promised that he'd take out to dinner, but there is a small situation because he lives almost an hour away. So we obviously need to plan a little bit. The place I work is awesome enough(most days..some days..every now and then?) to let us have a free room in our birthday month, as long as its not super busy. Which it's not next weekend. So we were talking about going out to dinner, he won't tell me where, and a drink and maybe a movie or something. Then he doesn't have to drive all the way home! Perfect! I am pretty darn excited about this non date birthday dinner. :)

Then in July, for his birthday, I'll head to where he lives and stay in a hotel room, and buy him dinner :) Only he'll be paying for my hotel room. I love having out of town friends :)


I can't think of anything else to write, Noodles.

Monday, May 4, 2009

ps-

I know I haven't updated my 101 things in 1001 days..I will..very soon..I promise!

*Wonderful

I had the best weekend! It was filled with my closest friends and family.

The Arthritis Walk was a huge hit, I had 38 people on my team walking for me! It was such a blessing to have everyone show their support for me.






To get mushy, for just a second, it meant the world to me to have my brother there. If you know him(or have ever heard me talk about him), he is not a people person like I am, we are complete opposites. He doesn't like big crowds, or doing things that he doesn't know exactly what is going to happen. He just doesn't (hardly ever) step out of his comfort zone. And he did. Twice. For his little sister. He drove 40 minutes to Rockford, was in a huge crowd (he even looked silly and did the stretches), he walked 3 miles (which completely wore him out because he smokes) and was surrounded by people the entire time, and he still had time to goof off with his wife and Baby B (who looked stinkin' cute in the bib her Auntie made her). I thought for sure he would want to get to their truck right away and head home. And instead, they stayed, took an enormous amount of pictures AND went to lunch with pretty much the whole dang team. God is at work in his heart, I can just feel it. okay okay..tearing up...switching subjects.








Speaking of Baby B..










It also meant so much to have one of my best friends there with me, even though she couldn't walk. Luckily JSC has a pretty amazing boyfriend(see below) that pushed her the whole 3 miles in a wheel chair. Thanks ducky, it made my day that much more special to have you there, even though you were freezing. I really really appreciate you and your friendship.








Okay! Seriously!

After the Walk we went to Perkins (not Bob Evans JSC) and had the rudest waitress. But it was still fun and the food was pretty good. I had my cheeseburger and then M's bacon and her pancakes..yum!




L, J, & C coloring at Lunch :)
The whole team :)





O & A being their super cute selves!




Then I got to go home and take a 2 hour nap, let me tell you, that felt good! After that I got dressed for the little gathering of family and friends at K.T. & J.T.'s house! That was so fun, and the cake was so dang good! Probably because it had pink frosting and pink filling. M and I headed downtown to Monte's after a while and had a fuzzy navel..can you say good? seriously. It was good time, plus we met some Random's in the parking lot who took our picture and gave me a dollar because we were celebrating my birthday! awesome.



My beautiful cake!


I heart Presents!
JSC, Me, O, & JV

me, M, & SM



me & M downtown :) love her!




Yesterday I stayed in my PJ's allllllll day. Did laundry and dishes and watched a lot of TV. Plus had all my windows open in my 3 season room, and my front door too! I heart spring, a lot.

Monday, April 27, 2009

jazzed.

Absolutely.



I had a pretty darn good weekend considering the weather. I wasn't all that sore (shout out to Jesus on that one..thank you!)



Friday was seriously nuts, both jobs were really busy. But I treated myself after work and went to bed pretty happy :) Saturday I only worked half a day and got to have a lunch date with one of my best friends. She is such an inspiration to me. She helped bring me to Christ when I showed her I was ready. I don't think she realizes how much she means to me. Enough sappiness. We 'lunched' for about 3 hours (which really..it wasn't enough time..but what is enough time when you get us together?) Then I headed home to spend a relaxing night alone with a movie and boy, was I looking forward to it! But then I got a call from my BFF M and we got to talking and she just has this way of energizing me! So I got dressed and picked her up and we headed to G.H. beach during a Thunder storm! SO beautiful since it wasn't yet dark, dark. We took some silly pictures and got Slurpee's and had so much fun in the rain. We stopped at my friend J.M.'s house on the way home to warm up and just hang out for alittle while. Then, of course we picked up TB and headed back to her house for a little while. When I got home I suddenly felt an urge to clean, and the next thing I knew..it was 3am! yikes! So I turned my movie that I was watching before I went out back on, and fell asleep on the couch.

I took Sunday morning for myself and went to work at 3 and went home..made some chips and cheese and relaxed and fell asleep around 1 this morning. Life was good :)



And that was my lovely little weekend.





I know I don't say this a lot but I am so happy that it's Monday and that the week has started. This week is going to be really busy for me as I am finishing up things for the Arthritis Walk in Rockford (http://www.arthritis.org/). I just got word that I will be able to pick my shirts up tomorrow! Really excited about that. I am still searching for plain brown onesies in 6-9 month sizes, but I have an idea if that doesn't work. And Iron-On's for the bigger kids. But I am pretty much all set and just trying to be organized for when I receive the donations for the shirts. I am feeling pretty good about it though! I am pretty happy that I only have 3 days at the Optical Office this week. That is awesome. Let's break it down:



Today(Monday)- I work at the Hampton until 5pm and then the Optical Office until 9:30

Tuesday- I only work at the Hampton, until 3 (insert happy noise here) and after that I plan on going over to my parents house to create a photo book for of Baby B. Then I am going *shopping* for brown onesies and iron-on's AND a new outfit for Saturday when we go out for my birthday! Hopefully my S-I-L will come with me. And I will hopefully have time in there to pick up my shirts for the Arthritis Walk too! I hope they turned out okay!

Wednesday-I work at the Hampton until 4pm and then at the Optical Office until 9:30. Not going to be doing much that day...try to fit in tanning :) Oh and I need to bake some cup cakes for a bake sale too :)

Thursday- I work from 7-5 at the Hampton, maybe do some ironing and cleaning! Or more *shopping*? if I haven't found that cute little birthday outfit that I have pictured in my head.

Friday- I work at the Optical Office until 1 in the afternoon and then I have a hair appointment at 2. Then I am going to hang out with Baby B for a while!

Saturday is of course The Arthritis Walk! I have to get there around 8:30am. I am so freaking jazzed. I am excited for pictures and the talking while we're walking and just being around my closest friends and family! We're all going out to lunch after that and then I'm going to go home to hopefully take a nap before we head out to dinner at Monelli's for drinks and Spinach and Artichoke dip and then to K.T.'s & J.T.'s for some cake! Then it's time to head downtown for some bar hopping. I haven't gone out downtown in months. This will be great. Unless, something else great happens. which I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket, but hey..a girl can hope right? right. Thanks.

Sunday could go either way, with relaxing, driving home, church, walking, rollerblading, or lunch on the patio. Either way..sounds good.

NEXT Monday I work 8am-9:30pm between both jobs
Tuesday- 7am-9:30pm between both jobs, hopefully the girls from the optical office will go out for a drink with me!
Wednesday..My Birthday!! I only work from 11am-3pm (awesome!) I already have breakfast plans, and dinner plans and a special few minute phone date and just an awesome relaxing, all about me kind of day. :)
Thursday I work from 7am-9:30pm between both jobs
Friday-Sunday(I think) leaving for Petoskey for the WHOLE weekend for my cousins Wedding! Usually I dread weddings because I hate going alone. But I am pretty excited about going and getting away for a few nights! Bring on the Chicken Dance! And the YMCA and Shout! I plan on doing them all! I even bought new shoes to go with my dress :) Check facebook for pictures :)

Whew! That is my life for the next few weeks. But it's all good stuff that I am excited for! Plus somewhere in there hopefully my friend J.M. promised to take me to dinner and some putt putt golf...yay!


Alright, thanks for reading my longest post ever. Have a good day!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

O.M.G{osh}.

Ok, fair warning..this is NOT for the weak of stomach :)

AND I'm not saying these are true stories, because they were told to me by friends of friends of friends {twice removed haha}. But they were way too funny {& kinda gross} NOT to pass on to my lovelies {that's you!}.

I heard this from JSC last Saturday while we were shopping in a store for a plant to put in her Boo's living room of his new house. So we're walking past the Cactus, and she starts telling me about this woman who bought a Cactus from H.L. and when she got it home she noticed that it was pulsating a little bit. So she called the store and they hung up on her or got "disconnected" 3 times, and that made her a little nervous. So she called the fire dept, just to double check to make sure everything was okay. And they told her to immediately get her kids and get out of the house. When the fire department arrived they went in and got the cactus and brought it out front and doused it with lighter fluid and lit it. Almost immediately thousands of baby Tarantula spiders coming fleeing out of the cactus!! WTF! gross.



Then last night, when I worked with S.S. she was telling that this girl, for whatever STUPID reason decided to go downtown by herself {idiot} and have a few drinks and go dancing. Of course, she met this guy and they started talking and danced a little and even had alittle make out session. He asked if she wanted to come over to his place for dinner, and she declined, but thought he was cute and nice so they exchanged numbers. The next morning she got up and was going to get in the shower and noticed all of these bumps on her face around her mouth. She was alittle freaked out so she went to the emergency room and they ran some tests but couldn't figure out what had caused the bumps. They told her to go home and wait by her phone, and they would call her as soon as they got the rest of her test results back. So she went home and waited for about 2 hours and the hospital called her told her to come straight back to the hospital right away, do not call anyone, do not talk to anyone, just come straight back. When she arrived she noticed the police were there. They asked her who she had come into contact with in the last 24 hours. She went through the list of people, and told the officers that she had met this guy at the bar and they had made out a little..they asked for his name and phone number and left. The girl was definitely freaking out by now and the Dr's sat her down and said that the only way you get bumps like that is from consuming human carnage. So that guy she made out with was eating human flesh!!!!! I will give you a moment to go vomit in the bathroom! ick.

Anyway.

Enjoy you lunch :)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Grade: { F- }

I feel like I haven't been a very strong Christian lately. I have let certain {bad} things/people surround me. I hate how sexual the world (my hometown) has become. Suddenly it's acceptable to say inappropriate things to just anyone.




Makes me feel a little sick to my stomach to even think about them.




I am all for joking around and having a good time and even being flirty at times.




This is what makes me think that I don't want to get married anymore. I know there are good guys out there, {This guy that I work with actually helped me see that last night} but I'm just not sure it's worth it, because most of the men in my life{married, in a relationship or single}, are not living like the men of God I thought they were. I know no one is perfect or right all the time..but they should know not to be that WRONG.



Agh!



On a lighter note, I am excited to spend some quality time with my one of my BFF's tonight. We had some good girl time on Saturday, and tonight will be so much fun. Even though we were together for a couple of hours on Saturday, there are still SO many things I want to talk and pray about with her tonight! ps-JSC I thought our cravings for food :) We have quite the interesting palates love!



ps- I wore my hair down and straight today..not sure how I like it :o/ BUT I do like some glasses I tried on yesterday,lets take a vote!!! Which one looks better?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

He Has Risen!

Happy Easter!

The thing I love about this Holiday, is well, Jesus :) Easter signals hope and I love hope :)

I am working right now, from 7am-3pm today (can we say time and a half!?) and then hopefully going to my Aunties for a lovely Ham dinner! I love ham.

I want to thank everyone who has been praying for my family and I in our not so desirable situations that have been happening lately. I sure appreciate it!

Yesterday was good, considering. I was so sore that my manager at the optical office let me stay home from work. Thank you ND! So I went to brunch with my family then went out for coffee with KC & JS. I hadn't seen them in about a month, so it was good to check in and catch up. Then I went and gave Baby B her Easter presents (a photobook and teething rings) then went home to finish up some spring cleaning (call me lame, that's fine) and I get this phone call..that's right..a phone call! Not a text! It was my PB! Wondering how I was doing and how my weekend was going. He had e-mailed me earlier in the week saying how he was dreading this weekend because he had to move everything out of his condo on Saturday. That's all the time he had! So this weekend was going to be rough for him. So he was just kind of hanging out in his empty condo and wanted to check in. I told him I was being lame because I was kind of sore, and really..there wasn't much going on. So then he said we could hang out, and I was all over that! Of course I'm already in my PJ's and ready for bed (I know..and it was only 8:15!) so I was like okay...where should we meet? And he's all..well I can just come there, we can just hang out and catch up and chat. And all I could think is Thank you Jesus for putting me in a cleaning mood earlier in the day! So he came over, he drove 35 minutes(which totally blows my mind BTW) and I gave him a tour of my house, and we just sat on my couch and talked and talked and told stories and asked questions and just hung out. No TV, no radio, and it seemed like about a half hour had gone by and it had been 2 hours! And I had to work at 7, and he still needed to drive back to his buddies house where he'll be staying for the next couple weeks, which was about 45 minutes away. Plus he was tired from moving all of his stuff, and I was tired from just moving my crippled body all day, so we were pretty much falling asleep on the couch and yawning like crazy.
I can't even express in words how nice it was just to hang out with someone and have fun. We laughed so much, and it was just easy sitting there facing each other with our legs stretched out and talking. I hope it happens again soon. I'm just so happy to have a friendship that is 2 sided, not one person trying for more than what the other person wants. I hope that makes sense.

Whew! I need to take a break with the typing, because my wrists are getting a little sore, but there is a story about when I went to coffee that is quite interesting.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

{UnTitled}

I am not doing good today. You would think I am PMSing, but I'm not! That was 2 weeks ago! But I am so dang emotional. I think it's partly I'm getting slightly depressed from being so sore. I mean..I already have limited movement as it is, and it's been taken away. I have to wake up a half hour earlier everyday because it takes me so much longer to shower, do my hair, get something to eat, forget about shaving my legs..I can't even get to my calf! So I feel gross..I feel ugly.



I think another thing that is making me sad is I just RSVP'd for my cousins wedding. For 1. So once again I get to have all of my family members, and I do mean all of them ask me why I can't get a guy. Do they really think that makes me feel good? I know I'm over reacting here, but I am lonely damnit. Which is so frustrating, because ML is such a nice guy, and honestly, he has done all those cutsie/cheesey things I have wanted a guy to do (brought me a coffee to work, picked me up from my house, text AND call me, put me on his facebook status that he was excited about dinner), so why can't I just be happy and be in a relationship with him? Am I being too picky? I just don't like that he drinks so much. I like going out for drinks and stuff, don't get me wrong, but there has to be more. Plus I feel like he wants too much too quickly. I am not ready to spend the night and have a pancake breakfast..plus, from what he tells me, he goes to church with his parents because that's just what he's always done. And when I ask him why, he's like well..its Sunday, it's just what you do. no no no NO. WRONG answer! I want a Godly man, who goes to church to worship our Savior, to feel the Holy Spirit (Thanks Mama).



Whatever, I've gone on a long enough tangent about this, again. God will bring him to me when He knows I am good and ready. We all know I'm lacking in the patience department :)







So back to my original thought, I am not talking to anyone until after my infusion, in hopes it'll perk up my spirits a little.

God Bless, Happy Easter!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

6 days and counting!

6 days until I can get my infusion...please GOD make this time go by FAST! I work everyday until then, so hopefully that'll help!

Yesterday, to say the least, was a not so good day. Everything happens for a reason though, and God has shown me some good :)

I was suppose to have a dinner & movie night with Cassie yesterday, but for whatever reason, our signals got crossed and it didn't happen, so I went out to dinner with ML. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings (SO good!) And I got Spicy Garlic Wings..just so he didn't get any ideas on kissing or anything. The dinner was fine, I guess. He is a nice guy, there is just nothing there, does that make sense? I want to be excited to go out with someone, and not want them to bring me home and can't wait to hear from them the next day. Not, trying to figure out what a legitimate excuse to not go out might be!

So, since I am Dating Girl now, I think I might out with JR again. The boxing match was interesting enough, and he wants to take me on a date out to Grand Haven. Grab some food and walk on the beach. Won't it be a little too cold to do that right now? Maybe we can post-pone it for a couple of weeks?


The good thing that happened last night is that I got to talk to my PB!!! We talked for about 2 hours and got caught up on the happenings in our lives, and talk about getting together. It was so nice. I can't wait to hang out with him. The dates that I have been going on...there has just been pressure ya know? Kind of wondering what they are thinking...or just not really enjoying the night, or thinking about other things..idk. So When PB and I hang out, it'll just be fun. Needless to say, I am excited!

Another thing that I am excited about is TD getting his Easter package today! I'm semi-bummed, since I ruined the surprise..but it's still a surprise as to what goodies are in the box! I really hope he likes it though :)

Anyway...please please send me your prayers, so I can hopefully stop limping!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Inspirations

I hate leaving my posts on a sour note. I hate feeling this way, all grumpy and uncomfortable.

So here are a few verses that have helped me feel better...enjoy :)


****Ezekiel 22:17
17Will your courage endure or your hands be strong in the day I deal with you? I the LORD have spoken, and I will do it.The Effects Your Courage Will Have On Others

****Isaiah 41:10
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

****Proverbs 3:5
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

****Deuteronomy 7:15
And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and will afflict you with none of the terrible diseases of Egypt which you have known, but will lay them on all those who hate you."

****Psalm 103:2
"Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: who forgives all your iniquities; who heals all your diseases ..."

****Jeremiah 30:17
"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds," says the Lord.

****Psalm 30:2
"O Lord my God, I cried out to You, and You have healed me."

****Matthew 12:15
"But when Jesus knew it, He withdrew from there; and great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all."

****James 5:13
"Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray."

ps- I am thinking about putting one of these on my Arthritis Walk T-shirts..what do you think? Which one?

Con; Case #1

Here is one reason that I am not a huge fan of living alone...

I know it's silly...and I know that I am 23 (almost 24! 1 month and 1 day away!)...but I had the worst, most awful dream this morning (last night?) that woke me up at 4:30-ish this morning, and I couldn't fall back to sleep.

And now, I feel sick..my stomach still has knots and I feel like I didn't get 'restful' sleep, if that makes sense. And the Tylenol and Methotrexite I took, aren't having their usual affect on me.
Let me set the scene; (get ready for run on sentences..sorry mama, I know you hate those!)

It was at my condo(go ahead Merr...mock me) and I was with this guy(no idea who he is) going over our lines (apparently I'm an actress or something?) and we hear something outside, so we go to the window and look, but can't really see anything, but something is out there and it sounds close. So we turn off the lights, to be able to see outside better, and there is a car, with its lights off, backing out of my driveway and driving back towards the main road and then it hits it's breaks and a guy comes running out of the bushes waving a shot gun and yelling something. Then the guy gets in the car and they drive away. Needless to say, this is not a regular occurrence around the condo community. So this guy that I was practicing lines with, says that I should probably call the cops, just to get someone over in the area. I agree and head to my room where my phone is charging and dial 911, for whatever reason, it dials my voicemail, and I have to listen to all of my saved messages before I can get to the emergency operator, and as I am going through them I hear a knock at my door, and my actor friend guy, kind of creeps back to the bathroom where I am on my phone(away from all the windows..duh!) and says it's the car we saw pulling away earlier. And then we hear a pounding at my door, and yelling, and a light bulb goes off and I recognize the voice, it's E, (the creeper who sent me all of those semi-scary e-mails and would not leave me alone around Valentines Day) and he was trying to get into my house! So my actor friend guy went to the door to tell him that I was out for a little while, and that he would let me know that he stopped by. All this while I am on my phone trying to get through to 911, and I am sitting on the stool I sit on to do my hair and make up in the morning. And there is this mirror in there that I can see down the hallway, but I can't see what's going on, but all I can hear is E, forcing his way inside, and yelling and I finally get through and tell the lady that I need a cop to come right over, and give her my address, and she's telling me that, that is the wrong address, and that I need to try again. And all of a sudden I feel very heavy, and lean my head against the wall, and I can't make my mouth move and my eyes start closing, and I can't lift my head from against the wall, and I woke up.

So I locked my bedroom door and my bathroom door when I showered and I must have tensed up in my dream, because I could hardly lift my arms high enough to shampoo my hair, and driving was really hard! I know its probably just because I am WAY past due for my infusion. I just have to wait 10 more days. But it's getting hard to sleep through the night, because I can't get comfortable, and writing is starting to hurt, I almost couldn't hold Baby B, yesterday.

Sorry for the whiney-ness.

I'm done for now.

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..., Michigan, United States