Up-lifting

Last night was a lonely night for me.


I know how blessed and well spoiled I am. I come from a good home, have 2 wonderful parents who love and adore me, an older brother that would do anything for me, and a handful of friends that are there when I need a good hug. But ever since Stephen and I 'broke up' I have had this loneliness, obviously.
So Ive been trying to deal with being more on my own, be more independent. But even though I know its inevitable, my grandfathers days are numbered and it's breaking my heart, I try to be strong for my parents and grandma, but I feel alone, I feel I don't have a 'rock' anymore..no one for me to cry on. I'm feeling feelings that I can' describe because I've never had anyone close to me pass away before.. I have high hopes for this new man in my life, I know He'll never let me know and always be there for me, no matter what. That's an amazing feeling, so I'm trying to grow with that and let Him guide me to happiness, because I know if I don't have Him, I won't be able to achieve happiness.
Dear Lord, my God, I am so blessed to be one of Your children, to have You be number 1 in my life, and to have this weight lifted by knowing You.
So Instead of watching TV to keep my mind on other things until I fell asleep like Ive been doing lately, I decided to read my bible in hopes of it calming me down and making me feel better. It of course, worked.

So just in case someone needs some uplifting-ness(yes I made that up), Here are a few verses that helped me:

Romans 8:38-8:39
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Jeremiah 1:5
5 "Before I started to put you together in your mother, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart as holy. I chose you to speak to the nations for Me."

Jeremiah 1:7-1:8
7 But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a boy.' You must go everywhere I send you. And you must say whatever I tell you. 8 Do not be afraid of them. For I am with you to take you out of trouble," says the Lord. (thanks Melissa!)


If anyone has anymore that they want to share let me know!

God Bless :)

The *list*

Ok so Kristi posted something about 101 things in 1001 days..and Im going to give it a try and since I won't be able to think of 101 things I want to accomplish in 1001 days..Im going to update this post often :)

Here we go:

1. Finish college!
2. Have a picnic in Millennium Park in Chicago by the Bean <3
3. Get a new job
4. Read the rest of my Bible
5. Hold Tara's baby!
6. Meet my 'nephew' Colin Isaac!!!
7. Visit Las Vegas
8. Lose 10lbs from the weight I am today (131lbs)
9. Pay off my credit card debt
10. Go back blond
11. Take less Methotrexite Pills
12. Attend church 8 consecutive weeks
13.Visit Nicks grave site
14. Learn how to do laundry haha
15. Go Camping
16. Raise my goal for the Arthritis walk for this year and years to come
17. Go to a church service by myself.
18. Watch Penelope walk!

This list was started on: 3-29-08

Updated on: 3-30-08

I'm working with Tara today. We're having a good time. I miss working at the hotel sometimes. I miss people and my girls and talking about nothing at all...or just whatever is going on at the time. I actually feel happy to come to work at the hotel now. My new 'fabulous' job hasnt turned out quite the way I had thought. Yes, my hours are amazing, and yes it could be a TON worse.

I feel like there is SO much I want to write..at the same time..I dont want to blog at all.

Sometimes I think I am SO beyond ready to be 'grown up' and married and wanting to have a family of my own. I want that feeling of a baby kicking..of having dinner ready and the laundry done when my husband gets home. Or even hearing the word 'mama' for the first time..

Then the other times..Im like..NO WAY. I am ONLY 22..I have lots of SINGLE non-parenthood life to live yet! I want to finish school..go on a trip or 2...idk..

Maybe its because Kristi just had Colin..and Tara is glowing with pregnancy and thats what makes me want those same kind of warm fuzzies.

Doesnt matter..Im single, trying to do my own thing..and thats good.

strangest post ever.

Seriously?

So because I heard on the radio the other day that Spring was cancelled, I decided Im going to go tanning and make my own damn sunshine. So today when I was laying in my bed of Grand Haven Beach (yes..I decided I was laying on the beach) I heard a baby cry, and I was all like..wtf? But then I thought..maybe the mom with her was just making a payment on her membership or maybe one her friends work there and she hadnt seen the baby yet because it sounded little.

But OH NO...the mom went tanning and took her baby in the room! But apparently she put a blanket over the car seat so I guess that makes it ok?



ps-Angela..don't date 'Old Date'