Noodles

Ha Winnie! Beat ya!

So tonight was quite the adventure!

Winnie was SUCH a good friend and even though she doesnt like going out to bars/clubs she was said she would for me because I had no one else to go with. Thanks again! Anyway, she said she'd go with me down to Monte's to see my friend Seth whom I havent see in a while and he wanted to introduce me to his new girlfriend. So we get ready and I wear THE MOST impractical shoes for this time of year..they are from Aldo they have a pointy toe and just a little strappy thing on the top and no sides..oh and NO grip for the 23432309842039 inches of snow that is falling outside. And of course there is no good parking so we had to walk like 4 blocks..not cool, and I didnt want to carry my purse, so I just brought cash, my ID and my camera. Then we get up there and there is a HUGE line! like 20ish people deep..and it is NOT moving! so we waited 15 or so minutes and decided to leave because it was freezing. and then Winnie went and got the car so I didnt have to walk all the way back..shes so great!
But then there is this Guy..and we went to school together, and because of the lovely F@cebook, we have been emailing back and forth, and he saw my pictures of all of the Christmas cookies I had made..294 to be exact! so I found out where he lived and brought him some cookies and got to meet him face to face :) He was super nice. And he even sent me a cute text to let me know how good the cookies were.

Another big thing that happened tonight is that Winnie and I have decided(rather I wanted to and she just agreed because shes so easy going) to say noodles instead of goodbye. I wanted to put this in here, so in 20 years from now, when our kids ask why we say that, or when did we start saying that, we'll know it's because cooking noodles in my specialty :)

ok, I am off to bed, or sleep rather, because I am already in bed.

Noodles!

Wait...what?

I'm sorry..last I recall I was living in Grand Rapids, MICHIGAN..ya know..the place where it snowed like a gazillion inches twice last week! Then on Saturday it was 58 blooming degrees outside! umm..WTF???? It's still December! I can't wait until all the ruckus starts with Global Warming!

I don't exactly have a topic to blog about today, but I wanted to keep up on my blogging, since Kristi, although is not a follower of mine, says she checks it often. So K-dizzle..I want proof! So when you read this, tell me something like Papa Bear and Pumpkin Donuts! :) I expect to hear something with in days..you have been warned :)

Plus my bff just sarted a blog! Hay JSC! Heeeeeeeeeeeyyy..it's an inside thing!

What else what else what else?!!?!?!

Maybe I should do some work..and then maybe I'll think of something to actually blog about :)

ps.. Remember, God is smarter than you. :)

Ahead of the Curve...

I am thinking ahead! And executing my thoughts! Whats the opposite of procrastination? because that is TOTALLY me right now!

Before I get into my non-procrastination-ness I want to give a couple big shout outs to God! First, thank you for this 53 degree weather in DECEMBER! I mean this is amazing! And with the weather so warm you can just about imagine the fog/steam coming off of the gazillion piles of 934857947 feet of snow we've had..he's giving all of Grand Rapids a steam bath! FOR FREE! He just wants us all to look beautiful :) You amazing Sir..truly amazing!
AND Jesus..I hope you had a glorious Birthday! It was so good talking to you the other night! ;o) Love you ALWAYS..I can't wait for the day when I can see you face to face and spend eternity with you. I just can't wait.


Now..onto my opposite of procrastination!

I am already thinking of my resolutions for this coming year. It sounds like I am going to be an auntie before the new year (Praise God!), so that in itself will be quite the adventure! My sister-in-Law has slowly started to show the signs of labor. I'm jazzed.
As this new year starts, I also want to retain my focus, and be even more focused on learning about my Savior. Reading His words and surrounding myself with brothers and sisters in Christ that will help me on this journey, and maybe, I'll be able to help them too.
One thing that I desire more than most anything is to find a home church. A church where I can become a member, and feel comfortable enough to join a Bible Study and meet new friends, that I can have life long friendships with. New brothers and sisters if you will. That is why, to help fulfill that desire, I am going to try to try a new church at least once a month, at the very least I will see different ways of worship, hear how people of all walks of life have been saved and healed by our King. This will be an exciting journey, and I am actually starting it tomorrow! Stay tuned for how it turns out :)

I'll end with one of my favorite 'quotes' There are 3 things I believe God says when answering Prayers;
Yes!
Not yet...
I have something better in mind..

Have a great day!!

Better...

MANY thanks to K-dizzle McWillie for brightening my day with some silly stories and a song :) Plus some excellent advice that will come in handy tonight. No one could have given me advice like that..mainly because I don't know anyone else her age..haha...oooh buuuuuurn!

I am also excited to have just learned that I do not have to be into work until 11am tomorrow..can I get a SLEEP IN anyone? I am stoked :)

I suppose I will get some work done now, after all I have a sled to buy for my pretend son after work!

Done.

I am done putting myself out there. And no, I am not just talking for guys. For people in general. Maybe it's because I am tired right now that I feel the need to put it in writing, but I can't do it anymore.
I try to go the extra mile for my friends and do sweet things for guys, or at least put myself out there and try to make a connection...romantic or otherwise...and I am lead on and get my hopes up and then get crushed.

What is it about me that makes people think that's okay? What is it about my personality that makes my 'friends' think that they can just walk all over me, and then come back like nothing has happened. Like they don't have to call me when they say they will, ever, or tell me they are hoping to meet me for dinner, or want to hear my voice on the other end of the line for just a little bit longer, tell me they can't wait to talk to me the next day, and then just don't call after standing me up the night before..WHY IS THAT OKAY!?

I thought maybe that I had been blessed by meeting a quality guy, he went to a good school, is close with his family, he even goes to church on a regular basis....he seemed to enjoy our conversations, even bantered with me, which..those who know me, know I love a good banter. Then we were suppose to go out for a friends birthday, have dinner, and just have a good time getting to know each other...he tells me he hopes to see me the next day, he's looking forward to it. Then when that day comes, he decides to not text me back, twice, BUT he does text back one of my friends, FOUR times. Then he decides to call me at 3:30am to tell me to NOT be mad (what? really?) and I said I wasn't mad, just disappointed. But then he goes on about how he wants to see me and going to Midnight Service on Christmas Eve with HIS PARENTS, and how he doesn't know what I have going on the next day, but he wants to cook me dinner, and what time can he call me the next day? I said call me ANYTIME, and guess what time he called? That's right...he didn't. The roads were HORRIBLE yesterday, so finally around 11:00 AT NIGHT I sent him a text, asking if he was okay...about 5 minutes later I get one back saying he just FINE and how am I doing? Did I get some sleep? He has a friend over right now.

What the *F* ever.

I am done. I am done wanting a boyfriend.


And then there is my "best friend" who I use to see 3-5 times a week, because I would drive to her house, even if it was for only an hour..just to catch up and what not. Then, I decided that, since my finances are a smidge tight right now, I probably shouldn't be driving 25 minutes that often..so what happens...because I stopped making an effort? I dint see her for almost a month, and that is only because I drove to her house and PICKED HER UP and we went to a hockey game, then back to my house, then to HOLLAND in terrible weather to get HER a Christmas tree, then drove back to her house and then back to mine. Did I get offered any gas money? Take a guess. And then we were suppose to go away for the weekend, and that got canceled, but we were suppose to hang out and go shopping and maybe even spend the night together, and then I find out that she decided to go up north with some friends for the weekend instead, but she'd call me when she got home on Sunday..that was over a week ago...still waiting to hear from her. I'm not holding my breath. I feel like I have a bazillion more instances where I have put myself out there and got my hopes up with things she has said, only to be let down.

I am done! I can't take anymore.


If I don't get my hopes up, I can't be let down.

Hopefully the next time I blog, I won't be so bitchy..but then again..

Angela

I think this is what I want. I think.

I think I am going to finally feel single. Im not sure though. Honestly, if he were to walk in my front door..I can't say that I wouldn't melt right back into his arms and be happy there forever. I can't say that at all. But chances are pretty good that he won't do that. And I need to move on. It's funny because sometimes, I am still angry at him. I am more angry at myself, for not standing up more for what I wanted at the time. Now, I am just trying to stand on my own.

I have been inspired by Angela, hence the title of my post :) to reveal my life of my new found single-ness and how God is writing my love story.

Living by the name of my blog won't be easy..since Im a planner..but we'll see how this goes!

..

Wow it sure has been a long time since I attempted a post.
This will probably be short since Scott and or John will be here in about 10 minutes.

It's funny, but Im actually thankful I am with them until 1:00 today. I can just be happy or crabby and they won't notice, because they really don't pay too close of attention to me. It's nice. So I can just pretend that I am fine, which I plan on being, and pretending to be from now on, and they'll just go along with it.

Speak of the Devils..

Whooosh

That is the sound of air coming out of my lungs with an exasperated disapointed sigh.

WHY do I let myself get SO excited about things? I get my hopes up and then SMASH..they get crushed. I feel like I am so ready to GO...to let God fully take the reins and lead me to something more.

I wish my friends would actually go through with these fun ideas that we have..we're only young once ya know? Lets live it up! I do love how some of my friends are all 'carpe diem' about things..but we aren't 16 anymore either..we do have responsibilities..lets think ahead too..is that so hard?

Now my mood definitely fits this gloomy rainy cold day.

Looks like I am going to have to do things on my own.

Puzzled

I don't know how people blog everyday..or every other day. My life is just not that exciting.

My Tuesdays and Thursdays are just work and school;

Tuesdays I work from 7:00am-3:00pm and then have class from 5:45pm-10:00pm
Thursdays I have class from 11:30am-2:45pm and then I work from 4:00pm-11:00pm

I have been busy on the weekends, with the ALS walk and the Breast Cancer Awareness Walk, Weddings, Baby Showers to come, seeing my friends and trying not to get sick..which I am completely on the verge of. My left gland is swollen and I am trying to drink as much Vitamin C as I can and just relax and not over-do on the extra curricular's.

I hate the sound of vaccuums. Hate hate hate them!

I want to move to Troy and work with Dawn at the Arthritis Foundation.

There...that is my randomness for the day.

Rain Rain Go Away...

This weather can seriously kiss my butt.

It's gloomy and kind of raining, but not really..so its like a mist, a nasty cold unwanted mist. It makes me achey and limp. I'm annoyed by the weather.

The more I think about it..October is a VERY busy month for me!
October 3 is Erins birthday
October 4 is Sara and Steves Wedding
October 7 is Courtneys Birthday
October 10 is my Grandma's Birthday
October 11 is the ALS walk with Cassie for her Dad
October 17 is my cousin Alisons birthday
October 18 is the Breast Cancer Awareness Walk, Apple Picking, and Girls Night
October 21 is Cassies Birthday
Then obviously Halloween, but I am working so that's not too big of a deal.

I also start my Badminton Class October 23!!

I am pretty sure that my grandparents anniversary is in there somewhere too. I think on the 7th?

I could even have a niece still in October, hopefully not...but if Courtney doesn't start feeling better, it's a possibility!

Hopefully November will be a little bit of a better month..not as busy. I miss my friends! I havent seen Melissa in a couple weeks..I havent seen Cassie in even longer and I am almost forgetting what Erin looks like! It's a good thing I dont have a boyfriend :) atleast thats what I keep telling myself..

I guess thats all for now

Apologetic...

I feel bad that I haven't posted in forever.

I feel like I need to censor what I type because SO many people have the link to this page, and while I don't believe most of them read it, they still have the option of being bored one day and reading through most of my posts and finding something they don't like.

Love is giving me the run around lately. For as long as I can remember I have wanted to have been married when I was 21..first kid at 22-ish..and the bam bam bam..3 kids pretty much right in a row. That's how I thought my life would be. So when I think about how I am 23, single, and with out the desire to date, it makes me sad. I'd like to think that when(if) I do get married..it will be for always and forever. But with recent events that have happened in peoples lives around me...it has caused me to question everything. How am I to know? I know who I desire to be with, what kind of lifestyle I desire to have..but when someone whom Ive known, who I thought....though weird...had a 'picture perfect' marriage, divorces..it breaks my heart.

That brings me to another question..how do you know that you are over a past relationship? How do you even get over a past relationship when you don't want to? How do you get rid of the feeling that makes your stomach hurt every day because you know you care for them more than they care for you? All these questions have been running through my head over and over and over.... no wonder I haven't been able to sleep through the night in 24 days.

I think I've mentioned in previous posts that Ive moved out of my parents house..into a condo..that my grandmother owns...here's the story..:

My grandma and grandpa moved into that condo..umm..maybe 10 years ago? (that's a rough estimate) and as of a couple years my grandma hasn't been fairing so well physically. She is in a wheelchair, and had broken one of her arms(?) so her shoulders tended to get sore quickly..plus she has had a slew of illness'; from C-Diff..to dehydration..she was in the hospital and a nursing home quite a bit. Then my grandpa started to lose weight rapidly and started to pretty weak..it can't be easy pushing someone in a wheel chair all around..and helping them into bed..by he was SUCH a good husband that he did it for my grandma, no questions asked. Finally..last November, my dad and mom moved them into a retirement home/ assisted living center. It is the best center I have ever been to! They genuinely care about their residents. I think in my grandparents mind, this was only a temporary move...to kind of give my grandpa kind of a break, to give him some help with helping my grandma, so that maybe he could gain some weight, be able to relax for a little while. So they did not sell their condo. However, this was not the case..I think it was January-ish that my Grandpa found out that his lung cancer was back, badly. The Dr's gave him 3-5 months. And while I tear up when I say this, I believe my grandpa made it just past 5 months before he went to be with his Lord. Rest in Peace Grandpa, we all love you so incredibly much, and miss you more than I thought it was possible to miss someone. I will always remember the last time I saw you..it was the day I was in the paper..and my mom and dad were out of town, so I thought I would drop in and see you and grandma for a few minutes to help break up your day..you were laying on the bed and grandma was at the table..I talked to grandma for a few minutes and we decided to go for a little walk to give you some quiet. When we got back you kept calling me 'that hot chick that's in the paper'..I crawled onto the bed to lay by you and leaned over so you could give me a kiss on the cheek before I left. It was perfect grandpa..absolutely perfect.
Getting back on track;
Now obviously my grandma cannot live alone. The assisted living center is where she needs to stay. But there was an issue with their condo, she does not want to sell it yet, I think it makes her sad to think that she can't be by herself, and plus that is the last 'place' that her and my grandpa lived together, there are lots of great memories there..I don't think she is ready to let go yet. This is where I come in. Eventually the condo will need to be sold, when is unclear. But as my aunt says, a place is easier to sell when their are people living in it. So I moved in. The weekend of July 4th my parents and I scrubbed and cleaned and moved me in.
So that's it...I am lucky enough to be living in a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom, floor condo. Alone. Now if that story doesn't scream how blessed I am..I don't know what will.

Whew! Talk about a lengthy post!

Coming Soon....

A post from me! I promise tonight I will post a new entry!

:)

with pictures!

In Need....

I am struggling.

I am in need of prayer, even if only 2 people read this. :)

I'm not sure if I want to just put everything out there, on here..

I'm feeling let down, forgotten, not important enough or memorable.

I was on a down spiral for a while, and I thought this would help me, kind of pick me up, and help me stay up so I wouldn't go down again. And that thing that I thought would help, let me down. I agonize over this everyday, wondering why, what's wrong with me, how could it have happened? Gah..
I suppose it's made me more independent..and that's a HUGE plus. And because I'm dramatic today..it's also jaded me. I thought this would be my 'safe haven' of never ending support and encouragement and positiveness, and now I have this sour taste in my mouth.


When will I be memorable? When will people keep their word to me? Maybe this is God teaching me a lesson on patience? Maybe He's trying to tell me that I don't depend on Him enough?


To leave off on a lighter note..I am about half way done with my Camp Dakota post, so look for that in the next day or two :)

Excitement is in the air!

I am heading to Camp Dakota on Sunday, and I am so excited! It is a camp for visually and hearing impaired kids. But the week I'm going (7/27/08-8/01/08) they are also going to have kids with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis..for those of the 3 people that read this, just incase you don't know, that's what I have. I am so excited and feel so blessed to have this opportunity to be a counselor! I will be in charge of probably 3 girls, anywhere from the ages of 7-16. I can't wait to show them how great life can be, even with a disability. I hope I can be an uplifting influence to them. :)

Last night was amazing! I went to Mars Hill Bible Church and had the chance to Listen to Kent and Ed Dobson and man...does God speak clearly to me through those men! This was the first time I had heard Kent speak, but I have had the opportunity to meet Ed a couple of times with Stephen, he was quite the amazing man, Ed is. I can't wait to hear him speak again in a couple of weeks when I get back from camp!

ps- I think I want to go back to Vegas..soon..now I just need a job..a full time job...I'm open for suggestions!

Independent

I am finally on my own. Mostly. I will definitely be writing more later on how I got the chance to live on my own. But for now, I want to whine.

I am trying to be more independent and do things by myself. No one told me that Independence comes at a price. What does it cost you ask? Pain.

I seriously hurt my back..I mean really. Why? Because I needed to lift all of those damn boxes by myself! It was my stuff, and I was moving it to my place..

so I was the one that should move them.

Ever heard of the expression, 'Lift with your knees'? I need to learn how to do that.

I love living on my own :)

What if's, Maybe's, and Things I Love

I have a lot of 'What ifs" going through my head lately...and a lot of things that could 'Maybe" happen. It's all very excited, but at the same time, I am trying to be careful as to not get my hopes up TOO high.

::Insert New Subject::

Things I love:
Coffee
The Color Pink
My New Hair Cut
My New Hair Color
The Fact That it is Summer
I am Getting Closer to Jesus
Slowly, I am Feeling More Independent, Depending on the Day :)
My Cell Phone
That I Have a Job
My Steve Madden Sandals
My Gucci Purse and Matching Wallet
Being Tan
Laying on the Beach
Being a Christian
SunShine
Hugs
Kisses
Being in Love
HOLDING HANDS
Moving on from Mistakes in the Past
Kristi McWilliams!!!



I'll wait until I find out for sure, but I am SUPER excited about a big MAYBE..because its a PROBABLY.

I'm out of things to write

Updating per Request

Hi Kristi :)

*Las Vegas* Pictures

This was my favorite building in all of Las Vegas

Erin and I in front of Paris

Everytime Erin and I would leave, we would take a picture in the mirror on the ceiling while we were wating for the elevator, we're on our way to do some shopping and the Hoover Dam here.

On top of the Stratosphere, 109 stories up!!

Jake

<---- This is Jake, he is my Cousin's Dustin and Renee's Dog. Cute right? I am dog sitting until Monday, they have such a great house and Jake is probably the best dog ever. So far we have watched some TV, ate some pizza and hung out in the backyard.

Keep a look out for more posts and hopefully pictures about my first dog sitting adventure.

Counting down the Hours

I have 21 Hours left before my flight leaves.
I have 15 Hours left to pack, everything.
I have 5 Hours left before I get to see my cousin who is in the Marines at my Grandma's House.
I have 4 Hours left of my shift at the Hampton Inn.
I have 1 1/2 Hours before I can eat.

I'm leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow, and I seriously can't wait. Even though I haven't started packing really anything yet..I'm excited.

I haven't been feeling at peace with a lot of things lately, relationships, jobs, myself. I toss and turn for hours before I actually fall asleep. I keep praying for the answers, maybe I'm just not looking close enough.

Whether he or I knew it or not, Stephen was a mentor for me in a lot of ways, especially spiritually. And know, he's not. Just like that. He was that person that I could turn to, that would pray out loud for me, that I could ask questions to, and know, because I fully believe I was following Jesus, he's gone. He was the 'charger' for my batteries of life haha. I would always have this sense of calm after I would talk to him about my problems. But maybe that's why things changed. I didn't rely on myself enough, but honestly, I miss his shoulder to cry on, and his advice, whether I took it or not, and just having him there. It's time to 'grow up' even though I feel like I've taken steps back since we broke up. I need to learn that I can trust myself and God, and He is all I truly need. I just can't wait for this loneliness to go away! It will someday..right?

Ok, enough with seriousness.

I think what I'm the most excited about is going somewhere new, the farthest West I've been is San Antonio Texas to see Chris graduate from Air Force Boot Camp.
Hopefully Erin and I are going to rent a car, and we'll go see The Hoover Dam, and that's in Arizona, so that'll be another state. Gosh I can't wait. Just 'talking' about it on here gets me even more excited!

We'll be gone for 8 days, Monday through Tuesday, then I'll be working for the next 7 days I think. Crazy. Oh and I'm looking for a new job, the Insurance Industries isn't quite what I thought..so I have high hopes for something new :)

But I should go, Erin will be here soon with my Chili's Chips and Salsa(yes, she spoils me).

Have a good day everyone!

Nervous.

I am nervous about this post.


I was at work during my previous post. Shortly after I got home that day, my grandfather passed away. Rest In Peace John Theodore Wustman Sr. , my grandfather, I love You.

It's been a long month, I have worried about my grandma, and how she'd handle his passing. She's amazing. Whew..I gotta be careful, I am tearing up already! That's why I'm nervous about this post. I don't want it to be a blubbering mess!

On to happier news, this past weekend (May 3rd, to be exact) I put together a team for The Arthritis Foundation Walk. There were 15 people on my team and we raised just about $300.00. The name of our team was The Pain Killers and our Sponsor was Big D's Audio (http://www.bigdsaudio.com/) I will try to upload some pictures of our shirts. It was a beautiful day and everyone completed the 3 miles..then we all went and met my grandma and aunt for lunch, which my grandma surprised everyone and picked up the bill..she loves to spoil us!

I have more to write, but I will try to just post often this week.

Take Care!

Up-lifting

Last night was a lonely night for me.


I know how blessed and well spoiled I am. I come from a good home, have 2 wonderful parents who love and adore me, an older brother that would do anything for me, and a handful of friends that are there when I need a good hug. But ever since Stephen and I 'broke up' I have had this loneliness, obviously.
So Ive been trying to deal with being more on my own, be more independent. But even though I know its inevitable, my grandfathers days are numbered and it's breaking my heart, I try to be strong for my parents and grandma, but I feel alone, I feel I don't have a 'rock' anymore..no one for me to cry on. I'm feeling feelings that I can' describe because I've never had anyone close to me pass away before.. I have high hopes for this new man in my life, I know He'll never let me know and always be there for me, no matter what. That's an amazing feeling, so I'm trying to grow with that and let Him guide me to happiness, because I know if I don't have Him, I won't be able to achieve happiness.
Dear Lord, my God, I am so blessed to be one of Your children, to have You be number 1 in my life, and to have this weight lifted by knowing You.
So Instead of watching TV to keep my mind on other things until I fell asleep like Ive been doing lately, I decided to read my bible in hopes of it calming me down and making me feel better. It of course, worked.

So just in case someone needs some uplifting-ness(yes I made that up), Here are a few verses that helped me:

Romans 8:38-8:39
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Jeremiah 1:5
5 "Before I started to put you together in your mother, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart as holy. I chose you to speak to the nations for Me."

Jeremiah 1:7-1:8
7 But the Lord said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a boy.' You must go everywhere I send you. And you must say whatever I tell you. 8 Do not be afraid of them. For I am with you to take you out of trouble," says the Lord. (thanks Melissa!)


If anyone has anymore that they want to share let me know!

God Bless :)

The *list*

Ok so Kristi posted something about 101 things in 1001 days..and Im going to give it a try and since I won't be able to think of 101 things I want to accomplish in 1001 days..Im going to update this post often :)

Here we go:

1. Finish college!
2. Have a picnic in Millennium Park in Chicago by the Bean <3
3. Get a new job
4. Read the rest of my Bible
5. Hold Tara's baby!
6. Meet my 'nephew' Colin Isaac!!!
7. Visit Las Vegas
8. Lose 10lbs from the weight I am today (131lbs)
9. Pay off my credit card debt
10. Go back blond
11. Take less Methotrexite Pills
12. Attend church 8 consecutive weeks
13.Visit Nicks grave site
14. Learn how to do laundry haha
15. Go Camping
16. Raise my goal for the Arthritis walk for this year and years to come
17. Go to a church service by myself.
18. Watch Penelope walk!

This list was started on: 3-29-08

Updated on: 3-30-08

I'm working with Tara today. We're having a good time. I miss working at the hotel sometimes. I miss people and my girls and talking about nothing at all...or just whatever is going on at the time. I actually feel happy to come to work at the hotel now. My new 'fabulous' job hasnt turned out quite the way I had thought. Yes, my hours are amazing, and yes it could be a TON worse.

I feel like there is SO much I want to write..at the same time..I dont want to blog at all.

Sometimes I think I am SO beyond ready to be 'grown up' and married and wanting to have a family of my own. I want that feeling of a baby kicking..of having dinner ready and the laundry done when my husband gets home. Or even hearing the word 'mama' for the first time..

Then the other times..Im like..NO WAY. I am ONLY 22..I have lots of SINGLE non-parenthood life to live yet! I want to finish school..go on a trip or 2...idk..

Maybe its because Kristi just had Colin..and Tara is glowing with pregnancy and thats what makes me want those same kind of warm fuzzies.

Doesnt matter..Im single, trying to do my own thing..and thats good.

strangest post ever.

Seriously?

So because I heard on the radio the other day that Spring was cancelled, I decided Im going to go tanning and make my own damn sunshine. So today when I was laying in my bed of Grand Haven Beach (yes..I decided I was laying on the beach) I heard a baby cry, and I was all like..wtf? But then I thought..maybe the mom with her was just making a payment on her membership or maybe one her friends work there and she hadnt seen the baby yet because it sounded little.

But OH NO...the mom went tanning and took her baby in the room! But apparently she put a blanket over the car seat so I guess that makes it ok?



ps-Angela..don't date 'Old Date'

"Oh Dear..."

yes..that is an exact quote from my nurse today when she realized that oops..my blood was spilling out of my veins and onto my arm and clothes instead of going into the vile that it was suppose to. Nice.

I go once every 2 months to get a 2 hour injection. and its nice...because I no longer have to give myself an injection every week. Today I slept for the WHOLE thing pretty much and then i got home.,...ate 3 tacos and slept for another 4 hours...now..5 hours later..Im ready for bed again.

Im gonna go get a brownie and orange juice...thought I had more to write than this.