Sunday, May 25, 2008

Counting down the Hours

I have 21 Hours left before my flight leaves.
I have 15 Hours left to pack, everything.
I have 5 Hours left before I get to see my cousin who is in the Marines at my Grandma's House.
I have 4 Hours left of my shift at the Hampton Inn.
I have 1 1/2 Hours before I can eat.

I'm leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow, and I seriously can't wait. Even though I haven't started packing really anything yet..I'm excited.

I haven't been feeling at peace with a lot of things lately, relationships, jobs, myself. I toss and turn for hours before I actually fall asleep. I keep praying for the answers, maybe I'm just not looking close enough.

Whether he or I knew it or not, Stephen was a mentor for me in a lot of ways, especially spiritually. And know, he's not. Just like that. He was that person that I could turn to, that would pray out loud for me, that I could ask questions to, and know, because I fully believe I was following Jesus, he's gone. He was the 'charger' for my batteries of life haha. I would always have this sense of calm after I would talk to him about my problems. But maybe that's why things changed. I didn't rely on myself enough, but honestly, I miss his shoulder to cry on, and his advice, whether I took it or not, and just having him there. It's time to 'grow up' even though I feel like I've taken steps back since we broke up. I need to learn that I can trust myself and God, and He is all I truly need. I just can't wait for this loneliness to go away! It will someday..right?

Ok, enough with seriousness.

I think what I'm the most excited about is going somewhere new, the farthest West I've been is San Antonio Texas to see Chris graduate from Air Force Boot Camp.
Hopefully Erin and I are going to rent a car, and we'll go see The Hoover Dam, and that's in Arizona, so that'll be another state. Gosh I can't wait. Just 'talking' about it on here gets me even more excited!

We'll be gone for 8 days, Monday through Tuesday, then I'll be working for the next 7 days I think. Crazy. Oh and I'm looking for a new job, the Insurance Industries isn't quite what I I have high hopes for something new :)

But I should go, Erin will be here soon with my Chili's Chips and Salsa(yes, she spoils me).

Have a good day everyone!

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