?

This is my life right now.


I feel like I am on 'auto pilot' for everything, because I have no idea what I want, or where my life is going.

I don't feel upset over anything, in my personal life. Things are for the most part, fine. I am healthy(not sick with a cold or flu or anything), Brylee is doing better. I have been spending time with my mom. I started Weight Watchers with a group of family/friends. I am very excited about this. We are going to have weekly 'weigh-ins", but it'll be private. But it's a chance to see how each other is doing and share some new recipes and walk together and even play the Wii! Spending time with my cousin-in-law to be, which is particularly important to me right now, since my cousin, J, is in the Marines and will be gone until at least August. That is hard. So we went for coffee and she is going to be coming to be joining us for weekly meetings and walks when she doesn't have class. It's nice to have something to look forward to. We also plan to watch the bachelor at our meetings. Man I love that show!

One thing I have been struggling with lately, is sleep. I feel like I fall asleep around midnight-ish each night. Which isn't terrible. But when my neighbors, (who are 55+) start rocking and rolling around 12:30am-2:30am, that keeps me up and I can't fall back to sleep right away. So I've tried sleeping on my couch, but I don't sleep a 'good' sleep. I am in the middle of writing a 'polite' complaint. If that makes sense.

I am looking forward to next Friday. I am getting my infusion. I am very interested to see how my joints are doing and more importantly my red blood cell count, or my hemoglobin. And see if I can warm my specialist up to the idea of me getting a tattoo :) Wish me luck!

The weight of the ? is heavy though. My neck and shoulders hurt. This time of year depresses me. I know it affects a lot of people though.
It is becoming more apparent at work that I need to find another job. It hurts to say this, because there are some people there that I just don't want to leave. It has been made clear that I am replaceable, and just an employee who's feelings or personal life schedule does not matter. Kris, I'm sorry, but I have to vent!

I have an interview on the 26th, so pray that goes well!

I am done venting for now. Mainly because looking down at the screen is reeking havoc on my neck.

Mama, I miss you!
Angela..take care of her!