Ahead of the Curve...

I am thinking ahead! And executing my thoughts! Whats the opposite of procrastination? because that is TOTALLY me right now!

Before I get into my non-procrastination-ness I want to give a couple big shout outs to God! First, thank you for this 53 degree weather in DECEMBER! I mean this is amazing! And with the weather so warm you can just about imagine the fog/steam coming off of the gazillion piles of 934857947 feet of snow we've had..he's giving all of Grand Rapids a steam bath! FOR FREE! He just wants us all to look beautiful :) You amazing Sir..truly amazing!
AND Jesus..I hope you had a glorious Birthday! It was so good talking to you the other night! ;o) Love you ALWAYS..I can't wait for the day when I can see you face to face and spend eternity with you. I just can't wait.


Now..onto my opposite of procrastination!

I am already thinking of my resolutions for this coming year. It sounds like I am going to be an auntie before the new year (Praise God!), so that in itself will be quite the adventure! My sister-in-Law has slowly started to show the signs of labor. I'm jazzed.
As this new year starts, I also want to retain my focus, and be even more focused on learning about my Savior. Reading His words and surrounding myself with brothers and sisters in Christ that will help me on this journey, and maybe, I'll be able to help them too.
One thing that I desire more than most anything is to find a home church. A church where I can become a member, and feel comfortable enough to join a Bible Study and meet new friends, that I can have life long friendships with. New brothers and sisters if you will. That is why, to help fulfill that desire, I am going to try to try a new church at least once a month, at the very least I will see different ways of worship, hear how people of all walks of life have been saved and healed by our King. This will be an exciting journey, and I am actually starting it tomorrow! Stay tuned for how it turns out :)

I'll end with one of my favorite 'quotes' There are 3 things I believe God says when answering Prayers;
Yes!
Not yet...
I have something better in mind..

Have a great day!!

Better...

MANY thanks to K-dizzle McWillie for brightening my day with some silly stories and a song :) Plus some excellent advice that will come in handy tonight. No one could have given me advice like that..mainly because I don't know anyone else her age..haha...oooh buuuuuurn!

I am also excited to have just learned that I do not have to be into work until 11am tomorrow..can I get a SLEEP IN anyone? I am stoked :)

I suppose I will get some work done now, after all I have a sled to buy for my pretend son after work!

Done.

I am done putting myself out there. And no, I am not just talking for guys. For people in general. Maybe it's because I am tired right now that I feel the need to put it in writing, but I can't do it anymore.
I try to go the extra mile for my friends and do sweet things for guys, or at least put myself out there and try to make a connection...romantic or otherwise...and I am lead on and get my hopes up and then get crushed.

What is it about me that makes people think that's okay? What is it about my personality that makes my 'friends' think that they can just walk all over me, and then come back like nothing has happened. Like they don't have to call me when they say they will, ever, or tell me they are hoping to meet me for dinner, or want to hear my voice on the other end of the line for just a little bit longer, tell me they can't wait to talk to me the next day, and then just don't call after standing me up the night before..WHY IS THAT OKAY!?

I thought maybe that I had been blessed by meeting a quality guy, he went to a good school, is close with his family, he even goes to church on a regular basis....he seemed to enjoy our conversations, even bantered with me, which..those who know me, know I love a good banter. Then we were suppose to go out for a friends birthday, have dinner, and just have a good time getting to know each other...he tells me he hopes to see me the next day, he's looking forward to it. Then when that day comes, he decides to not text me back, twice, BUT he does text back one of my friends, FOUR times. Then he decides to call me at 3:30am to tell me to NOT be mad (what? really?) and I said I wasn't mad, just disappointed. But then he goes on about how he wants to see me and going to Midnight Service on Christmas Eve with HIS PARENTS, and how he doesn't know what I have going on the next day, but he wants to cook me dinner, and what time can he call me the next day? I said call me ANYTIME, and guess what time he called? That's right...he didn't. The roads were HORRIBLE yesterday, so finally around 11:00 AT NIGHT I sent him a text, asking if he was okay...about 5 minutes later I get one back saying he just FINE and how am I doing? Did I get some sleep? He has a friend over right now.

What the *F* ever.

I am done. I am done wanting a boyfriend.


And then there is my "best friend" who I use to see 3-5 times a week, because I would drive to her house, even if it was for only an hour..just to catch up and what not. Then, I decided that, since my finances are a smidge tight right now, I probably shouldn't be driving 25 minutes that often..so what happens...because I stopped making an effort? I dint see her for almost a month, and that is only because I drove to her house and PICKED HER UP and we went to a hockey game, then back to my house, then to HOLLAND in terrible weather to get HER a Christmas tree, then drove back to her house and then back to mine. Did I get offered any gas money? Take a guess. And then we were suppose to go away for the weekend, and that got canceled, but we were suppose to hang out and go shopping and maybe even spend the night together, and then I find out that she decided to go up north with some friends for the weekend instead, but she'd call me when she got home on Sunday..that was over a week ago...still waiting to hear from her. I'm not holding my breath. I feel like I have a bazillion more instances where I have put myself out there and got my hopes up with things she has said, only to be let down.

I am done! I can't take anymore.


If I don't get my hopes up, I can't be let down.

Hopefully the next time I blog, I won't be so bitchy..but then again..

Angela

I think this is what I want. I think.

I think I am going to finally feel single. Im not sure though. Honestly, if he were to walk in my front door..I can't say that I wouldn't melt right back into his arms and be happy there forever. I can't say that at all. But chances are pretty good that he won't do that. And I need to move on. It's funny because sometimes, I am still angry at him. I am more angry at myself, for not standing up more for what I wanted at the time. Now, I am just trying to stand on my own.

I have been inspired by Angela, hence the title of my post :) to reveal my life of my new found single-ness and how God is writing my love story.

Living by the name of my blog won't be easy..since Im a planner..but we'll see how this goes!

..

Wow it sure has been a long time since I attempted a post.
This will probably be short since Scott and or John will be here in about 10 minutes.

It's funny, but Im actually thankful I am with them until 1:00 today. I can just be happy or crabby and they won't notice, because they really don't pay too close of attention to me. It's nice. So I can just pretend that I am fine, which I plan on being, and pretending to be from now on, and they'll just go along with it.

Speak of the Devils..

Whooosh

That is the sound of air coming out of my lungs with an exasperated disapointed sigh.

WHY do I let myself get SO excited about things? I get my hopes up and then SMASH..they get crushed. I feel like I am so ready to GO...to let God fully take the reins and lead me to something more.

I wish my friends would actually go through with these fun ideas that we have..we're only young once ya know? Lets live it up! I do love how some of my friends are all 'carpe diem' about things..but we aren't 16 anymore either..we do have responsibilities..lets think ahead too..is that so hard?

Now my mood definitely fits this gloomy rainy cold day.

Looks like I am going to have to do things on my own.

Puzzled

I don't know how people blog everyday..or every other day. My life is just not that exciting.

My Tuesdays and Thursdays are just work and school;

Tuesdays I work from 7:00am-3:00pm and then have class from 5:45pm-10:00pm
Thursdays I have class from 11:30am-2:45pm and then I work from 4:00pm-11:00pm

I have been busy on the weekends, with the ALS walk and the Breast Cancer Awareness Walk, Weddings, Baby Showers to come, seeing my friends and trying not to get sick..which I am completely on the verge of. My left gland is swollen and I am trying to drink as much Vitamin C as I can and just relax and not over-do on the extra curricular's.

I hate the sound of vaccuums. Hate hate hate them!

I want to move to Troy and work with Dawn at the Arthritis Foundation.

There...that is my randomness for the day.