O.M.G{osh}.

Ok, fair warning..this is NOT for the weak of stomach :)

AND I'm not saying these are true stories, because they were told to me by friends of friends of friends {twice removed haha}. But they were way too funny {& kinda gross} NOT to pass on to my lovelies {that's you!}.

I heard this from JSC last Saturday while we were shopping in a store for a plant to put in her Boo's living room of his new house. So we're walking past the Cactus, and she starts telling me about this woman who bought a Cactus from H.L. and when she got it home she noticed that it was pulsating a little bit. So she called the store and they hung up on her or got "disconnected" 3 times, and that made her a little nervous. So she called the fire dept, just to double check to make sure everything was okay. And they told her to immediately get her kids and get out of the house. When the fire department arrived they went in and got the cactus and brought it out front and doused it with lighter fluid and lit it. Almost immediately thousands of baby Tarantula spiders coming fleeing out of the cactus!! WTF! gross.



Then last night, when I worked with S.S. she was telling that this girl, for whatever STUPID reason decided to go downtown by herself {idiot} and have a few drinks and go dancing. Of course, she met this guy and they started talking and danced a little and even had alittle make out session. He asked if she wanted to come over to his place for dinner, and she declined, but thought he was cute and nice so they exchanged numbers. The next morning she got up and was going to get in the shower and noticed all of these bumps on her face around her mouth. She was alittle freaked out so she went to the emergency room and they ran some tests but couldn't figure out what had caused the bumps. They told her to go home and wait by her phone, and they would call her as soon as they got the rest of her test results back. So she went home and waited for about 2 hours and the hospital called her told her to come straight back to the hospital right away, do not call anyone, do not talk to anyone, just come straight back. When she arrived she noticed the police were there. They asked her who she had come into contact with in the last 24 hours. She went through the list of people, and told the officers that she had met this guy at the bar and they had made out a little..they asked for his name and phone number and left. The girl was definitely freaking out by now and the Dr's sat her down and said that the only way you get bumps like that is from consuming human carnage. So that guy she made out with was eating human flesh!!!!! I will give you a moment to go vomit in the bathroom! ick.

Anyway.

Enjoy you lunch :)