The Job.

So as I said in my last TODAY marks 3 months since I put my 2 week notice in at a job that I had for OVER 7 years! It was a definitely a bittersweet time. While it's hard to not be around the 2 girls that I really enjoyed working with, and it's tough to learn new things when I'm use to being the one who is teaching new workers... taking this new job, was the best decision for me! I have opportunities all the time to move up in this job, and I learn something everyday! The people I work with are kind, and patient and actually WANT to work there! At the end of July the whole company is going on a canoe trip!

I can see myself staying with this company for many years to come!

I'm back! (i hope!)

wow! Where has the time gone!? My last post was in April!? really? You can tell I got a "Big Girl" Job and I don't have time to blog at work now! I am going to try (I'm sure I've said this at least 5 times before....) to keep up with this, especially now that I don't get to see YOU Mama! And it's nice to get everything out and come back a few months from now and read this :)

I have SO much to type! Starting with my amazing new *BOYFRIEND* and new job! I'll have to start tomorrow, because it's almost midnight and my boyfriend and I just went for a 2 mile walk and this lady is pooped!

Can't wait to fill you in on what's been going on!

Post Secret

Good Morning friends! (and by that I mean you, Kris haha) I loooooove http://www.postsecret.com/ ! Every Sunday a new batch of secrets are put up for the world to see, and I've been able to relate to quite a few of them since I started reading post secret. But today, there was one that I could have written myself (minus the lamb) because I have been feeling this way for a while now. Here is the secret:

I've been feeling very "green" lately. (not as in I wanna save the world, but more like I don't have very many life experiences, niave might be a better word)

I'm not excactly sure how to go about fixing this feeling I have. I am trying to take chances, trying to try new things, but I get frustrated with myself because I am taking baby-steps instead of just diving into something new. I need to take more risks..I need to do more instead of thinking so much.

Inspiration

So my good friend Terri inspired me this morning!

I read her blog and it made me want to update mine!! I'm not sure how many people actually read this, but I like going back and reading through my memories :)

SO much is going on lately. I am having a hard time catching my breath!

I had the best Christmas this year! (pretty sure I say that every year!) Christmas is definitely a different experience since my brother and sister-in-law had Brylee :) My heart is just FULL of love for her :) My parents bought all of us plane tickets and hotel stays in Tampa this year! I cannot believe how blessed we are to have such generous parents.

We stayed for a whole week! We were able to go to the beach and get a little bit of sun AND go visit Elmo (Brylee's favorite!) at Busch Gardens!

I had an interview for a job in Ann Arbor when we got back from vacation. Unfortunately I did not get the job :( But it was a great experience.

However! I did pass 2 tests for the City of GR and I am eligible to be hired! I am on their "list" so hopefully something will come of that!

Cassie and I put together a fundraiser to help raise funds and awareness for the ALS Association and the Arthritis Foundation! I am just waiting to hear on a location and I'll post the website that I made for it!! I am so excited!! We are going to be hosting it on April 23rd :) Then just 5 (hopefully short) days later Cassie and I will be on our way to Las Vegas for 5 nights!! I had enough frequent flyer miles to buy both ways of airfare for me and one way for Cassie! My parents (remember how I told you they are SO generous!?) are letting us use their Timeshare (on the Strip!) for free the whole time we're there! It's going to be such a great time! The average temperature is 78* shut UP! haha Even Cassie will be able to get some color! :) just kidding Boo! We'll get back the night of May 3rd. My birthday is May 6th and the Arthritis Walk is May 7! whew! Those weeks are going to FLY by, better make sure I have my camera all charged up!

I am really looking forward to next weekend too. My good friend Samantha who is from the other side of the state is coming into town for Friday night. She has a meeting on Saturday. But we are going out to dinner and a drink ( or two :) ) and then out to breakfast and lunch the next day! I'm so excited to show her some of the "Local" spots of Grand Rapids!

On March 13th, I am taking my cousin Alison to Chicago for the night! We did this last year and got caught in the WORST snow storm in December. Took me almost 5 hours to get from Michigan City to Holland! Yuck! We decided to wait for a little warmer weather (atleast not any chance of snow storms!) So we decided to go in March! I picked the day AFTER the Chicago River gets dyed green for St. Patricks Day! It's going to be SO much fun! I love spending time with her :) She's 12, going on 27 haha.

Another fun thing going on right now is that 2 of my favorites that I work with are having babies!! and are due on the same day!!! It's crazy but so fun! I can't wait until that's me :) Well I can wait..but I'm excited! :)

Okay..I think we're all caught up now!

tweet tweet :)

Since I don't blog toooooo terribly much, here is a fun way to keep up with me and my life :)

http://twitter.com/#!/TheLWord3

Goal Weight with a Goal Date!

Oh boy, I'm actually going to put this out there!!

I weigh 143lbs. yikes. My waist is 34inches around.

Last night my roommate and I were talking about losing weight and toning up a bit.

So my goal weight is 129lbs (we'll see how I look/feel from there!)

and my goal date for that is November 12!

Look for me to post pictures along the way!

Things

Things I love:

Jesus

Sunshine

Brylee

Sand

Airplanes

Coffee

Teeth Whitening Products

Wine

Facebook

Mom

Dad

John

Courtney

Melissa

Cassie

Jessie

Kelly

Jen

Blogger :)

Kristi

Colin

Tara

Being so close to Lake Michigan

Living in a state with Seasons

The color pink

Crunching on ice

Laying outside in the sun

Bible Study

Roses

Hugs

Stephen

Going on Vacation

Chicago

The Bean

The Button

Baking

Cooking

Life

Here goes nothing!!

Hey All!!

So I was inspired, but one extremely fabulous lady from the east side to do a 'couch to 5k'. She has also inspired me to blog about it :)

Now as most of everyone knows, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. However, I am one of the lucky ones who doesn't have a whole lot of pain ( I know..it's awesome). So I am hoping to be able to do The 5/3 Riverbank Run on may 8th!

Yesterday was my first day 'working out' my dad, being the greatest guy he is, went with me and kept time. We started out doing our stretches (fyi..NOT flexible at all..yet) and then went for a brisk 5 minute walk. After that we alternated with 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of brisk walking (our brisk got slower and slower as the time went on..haha) for 20 minutes. We ended up walking/jogging about a mile in 27 minutes..not bad! I'm just glad we completed the work out!

It was a BEAUTIFUL March day so we decided to do this outside around 4:45. Yikes. My lungs were burning pretty bad at the end..and so were my legs. But it felt great.

I was a little worried about how I would feel this morning, but turns out I am doing MUCH better than I had anticipated. I'm looking forward to tomorrow and hope it's as nice out, because I don't have a treadmill and am running outside no matter what!

So far so good!

I'm Faking It!

Yep :) That's right..

I heard the saying once "Self-fulfilled Prophecy"

I also heard something else...somewhere..if you fake/pretend a feeling..you can trick your mind into actually believing it!

So that's what I'm doing:) I am faking happiness for the next 2 weeks. No matter where, no matter what..I will have a smile on my face!

I am pretty excited, and as of late have had some pretty encouraging steps forward in leading friends and family to Jesus! It's an amazingly beautiful feeling!!

I will try to blog more happy thoughts as the time goes on.

Have a great day everyone!!

Lots to say!

I have sooooooo much to say, and my fingers just won't type fast enough to get it all out quickly!!
Yesterday I spent the entire day(from 7am-9:30pm) on the east side of the state!! {ie; hopefully my new home someday!}


I had a meeting/conference call with *The Arthritis Foundation*! I had never been to their office in Troy, so I was pretty excited. I got to see a couple of the ladies from Camp Dakota {a camp for kids with arthritis} and I got to meet the new development manager and brainstorm on fundraising and volunteer idea's! It was a great experience and I can't wait until December for the Jingle Bell Run{S}.

It's going to be so fun! I still gotta find some silly outfits though :)


After I left Troy, I stopped in Lansing to see my PB ! He took a half day so we could hang out for a while, such a nice guy. We chatted and chatted, then we decided to watch a movie. He let me pick. Eagle Eye. SUCH a good movie :) I haven't been able to watch a suspenseful movie like that in such a long time!! None of the guys I hang out with like to watch scary movies. And since I live alone, I don't really like to watch them by myself because {Hello my name is Rachel, and I have a problem..} I tend to 'hear' things and freak myself out after watching scary movies. Plus, while watching them, I tend to be a little jumpy{at every loud noise in the movie} and that tends to irritate people. Not my PB though :) He even rubbed my back for 20 minutes because I had told him earlier in the week how bad it had been hurting. Man did it feel better after that! :) He even gave me a shirt to wear since I was in my 'cute work' clothes and those are umcomfy to watch a movie in, as I was putting my coat on {yes over his shirt, I sure did wear it home! haha} he hugs me and goes; 'want me to walk you to your car?' I laughed so hard and definitely took him up on his offer, my car was all the way around the corner after all :) He laughs at me being so girly, he likes it though, I just know it!

I suppose that's all for now. Thanks to Cassie for posting this for me, since once again blogger doesn't work at work :( Le Bum

A Reason, A Season, & For Life

Have you heard this saying before?
God brings people into your life sometimes for A Reason, A Season, or For Life.


I have heard this saying quite a few times, especially lately.
It seems so fitting to my life right now too! So it's great. :)

I believe God brought RD in my life for a reason, so I would give my heart to Christ. No question about it. I also believe RD was in my life to show me what unconditional, self-less, love is. {or was, in our case} He also taught me how to stand up for myself when I wasn't happy with a situation {ie: breaking up with him}

TD was brought into my life for only a season, a really good season. But for only a season. In a bittersweet short amount of time he "taught" me independence more than anything. He showed me what a good man looks and acts like, and that there are genuinely good, Godly men out there still.

For life though, God has brought me a BFF :) JSC, or should I say CWK{that looks weird! just gotta get use to it!} Though a few times we have parted ways, somehow we have always managed to get back in touch. I know God has had a hand in that, always. The thing I love the most about her, is sometimes, we're back in 5th grade, can't stop giggling and laughing and being just plain silly, and other times, she is the shoulder I use when I am crying out to God for understanding. She is my random road trip buddy, lunch on the Calder plaza, and my "guess what I'm doing.." text message :) haha. Noodles and PopTarts, I heart you Boo. :)

More later on :)

Boy oh Boy

This week has flown by!

Mostly because I have been "drugged' since Monday!

I know in my last post I said that the doc had put me on Darvocet, well, by Thursday I was getting frustrated, because my back wasn't feeling ANY better. So I called again. {true story} So my doc sent out another perspriction {apparently she didn't think it was Shingles anymore..whew!}. This time it was for muscle spasms. Now we're getting somewhere! Yikes though, I slept 10 hours, woke up in a "cloud" and have been there ever since. Everything seems to be fuzzy and in slow motion. And my back still hurts.
Since the meds aren't helping though, I'm not going to take anymore. And {I guess} just deal with the pain. Atleast I'll have my wits about me! {Hopefully...} I'll have some major listening to do, since my BFF just got engaged last night!! I canNOT tell you how excited/happy/giddy/in love with love I am! And also {hopefully...}being part of a wedding party!
All I want to do is go home and sleep! I was in bed by 10:30 on Friday, woke up at 7:30, took a nap from 1:00pm-3:30pm, was in bed for the night at 7:30pm and slept until 6:30 this morning. hmm..

Anyway..Im going to go call P and see if he'll come in early for me.

{private}

Part of the reason I got deleted my facebook account (for now, not forever) is because I felt like (and this is my fault) nothing about my life was private. Whether it be friends writing personal things on my wall, or family commenting on my pictures at get togethers.

I feel a little more comfortable on here writing things, because only 3, maybe 4 people read this! 1 of them lives out of state (hellloooo Angela!) And the other 3(Kris, Cas, and use to be Merr..until she had a baby!!) I tell pretty much everything I write anyway.

That being said. I went to the doctor yesterday. My back has been hurting for about 5 days. Usually I don't have pain in my back, so I figured it was worth the co-pay to get it checked out. and the doctor said (yikes!) I might have SHINGLES! (I feel like dooce.com haha) I don't have the "rash" yet though, just the pain. I am on Darvocet every 6 hours as of right now. Even though, I can't take it and drive, so I haven't taken one yet today because boy do they make me drowsy! I'll be able to take one after my 2nd job tonight, around 930 and get to sleep in because I have tomorrow off, both jobs! Who's excited?...this girl.

I am a busy little bee for the next little while, and that makes me happy. I have two 'awareness' walks this Saturday and Next. And on the 14th I get to drive to Troy to sit in on a conference call as part of a committee for the Arthritis Foundation! (ps, I also got the chance to be a volunteer for a benefit for them last week..!) Things definitely feel like they are falling into place alittle bit with that part of my life. When I was at The Tribute To Excellence Benefit. I had someone come up to me and tell me that they had been wanting to meet me, and they had heard some great things about me. {wow!} It was a great night. They really would like for me to get more involved for the Arthritis Walk this year. I just don't know if I have the energy. I'll pray about it.

I suppose that is all for now.

ps- Happy 9 month birthday to my sweet, perfect, beautiful little niece. I love you!

With drawls..

I am on blogger! At work!

I have been having some serious with drawls of blogging lately. Especially since deleting my facebook. {gasp!} I know, sounds like absolute craziness to do that, but it's the right thing for right now :)

I have spent a lot of time in prayer for the past couple weeks. Actually, at first, I knew I should be praying, but I knew I wasn't going to want to hear with Someone was about to tell me. So I put it off, because, well, I'm human, and sometimes I just want what I want, my conscience be damned. However, these things have a way of catching up with you.
Sometimes, I have a pity party, because of my arthritis. And so I just decide to push it to the back of my mind and not take care of myself. Then I end up getting sick and have LOTS of time to think about how if I would have just stayed on the 'right' path, I would be healthy right now and not missing out on things. And as my PB pointed out the other night, things could be a lot worse.
I need to toughen up a little bit.
Which will not be easy, I have been spoiled by pretty much everyone in my life. So I've gotten "soft", as a certain PB let me know. I definitely want to "remain me' as cheesy as that sounds. But since I don't feel like God has told me it's time to settle down and get married anytime soon, I need to be able to handle things on my own. Especially because I have really felt the pull from Him to move away from home for a little while at least, hopefully with the Arthritis Foundation.(another post to come on that!)So really need to figure out how to let more things roll off my back, and to not let myself get down on things I can't control.
That's a lot to accomplish! Good thing I'm not alone. :)

Moving on..I really hope blogger keeps letting me log in at work!
I feel like there is more to say, ohwell :)

hello stranger!

So I am getting super frustrated with blogger.com at work. Its been close to a month since I've been able to access the site and vent or gush or anything!

I have had a very busy summer! Between New York twice, camp, going to the Youp, taking day trips, and trying to work a little here and there haha.
Next weekend (the 26th) Jen, Kelly, and I are going to Detroit for the night..just because! I love nights like that!

I have been wanting to blog about my 2nd trip to New York, like I did the first time. but it was quite different this time, for one, I was there for 3 more days than the first time. And two, we did lots of different things. But I'll save that for another time, maybe. It's almost so special that I don't want to share it with anyone :)

Lets see, oh! I am actually typing this out at work, in an e-mail, saving it as a draft..then copy and pasting it into blogger.

I'm not sure how many of you follow the blog www.mattlogelin.com ....if you don't you should. When I first started reading, it almost depressed me. okay, not almost..it did. So I had to stop reading for a while, but the more I thought about it, it's such a great blog. Matt is hilarious and I look forward to his updates. He is having a charity event tomorrow actually in MN and since I couldnt go, I donated and got a shirt! It was fun to get a package in the mail :)

*Random*- When I was 20, then guy that I had been dating for almost a year and I decided to take a 'break' {whatever that means when you're not official..but whatever...} and I met this other guy, SV, and we hit it off, and he was the first {and only} guy to ask me to be his girlfriend..it was so cute. He would come pick me up, wanted to meet my whole family, wanted to hang out with his and my friends, want take me out on dates, would bring me lunch at work... he was pretty darn great, except he smoked. Anyway, that lasted about a month haha, and then I got back together with the first guy {stupid!} And I maybe saw him 4 times since then, once just a couple months ago, I went over to his new house to catch up, and it was nice. So today, as Im working I hear the doors open and I look up, and there he is! He is on his college's bowling team and they practice at an ally near my work. And he says he passes by my work every week day and sees my car, and today he felt like stopping in to see me! It was nice, so we chatted for a few minutes, then wanted me to walk him out to his car. So I did. And we talked, and he wanted a hug, and said if it was okay he'd stop into see me again sometime.
That was a nice surprise :) And man, is he cute. Short, but cute. haha

Okay, have a good day!

{update}

Hi!

It has been quite a while since I have been able to get on this site! I usually blog at work, but for some reason..it has not been letting me log in!

I have so much to catch up. I just got back from Camp Dakota on Friday, that's the camp for kids that have R.A.

I'd like to vent about the bad news I got from my specialist yesterday

And about my upcoming trips that I am pumped about!

stay tuned for hopefully another update today :)

surprised...happily

I know there will be atleast one person, who will not be happy to hear what I am about to say...
But, that's life :) haha.

I had a really really nice conversation with someone on Sunday. Like, a 6 hour nice conversation, filled with prayer and honesty, forgiveness, and kindness.

It was unexpected, but I feel so much peace right now.

This person has been raised in a Christian home, has excellent inspirational leaders all around them, and he too, feels alone sometimes(boy, did that make me feel better. This man has always been able to make me feel physically attractive. But on Sunday, he made me feel beautiful spiritually. We talked about how different our lives are, because of our 'spiritual' support systems. And how, I have no one to lean on, look up to. And he has many people. But then he said how, maybe even soon, I will be much stronger, spiritually, than he is, because I have no choice but to lean on The Lord, where he still makes the mistake of leaning on his family sometimes, when he should be looking to Jesus. Wow, has he grown up lately. It was our first 'real' talk I think we've ever had in the 6-ish years that I have known him.

And, it's a little scary, because his name is Stephen.

Yes, Mama, I know how you feel about this...but I'm just not sure yet...

I have heard time and time again, that some of my best qualities are also my worst qualities...how do I change that about myself?

I feel broken.

My mom came to drop off some of my medicine that I left at her house yesterday, and I walked her out to her car, and ended up crying, right there in the parking lot. I haven't done that in a loooong time, not be able to hold myself together.
I want to apologize to my friends, because when I feel like this, I am not fun to be around, and I know that, and that is why I push you away. I'm sorry.

I have been told that I have a big heart, and that I give all of it, too easily. I am too trusting. And that is why I get hurt sometimes. I put myself into things too much, too quickly.

I don't know how not to do that though.

I sometimes hate how my boss pry's into my personal life; today, as I am taking a break in our back office, (I have my face in a book mind you..) he comes back there and asks how Church is and I say it's fine, trying to keep my answers as short as possible so hopefully he'll get the hint and oh I don't know, stop talking to me on my break, but no. He goes on to tell me that I am admirable, because I wasn't raised going to Church, and I don't have a 'support system' from my family, because no one else in my family goes. And how I go to church alone, and he thinks that's so great. He asked how I keep my head up, and keep going. I just answered that I didn't know, I just kept going. But the answer is that I am lonely, and that is the only place I feel peace.
It's not that I sit home alone on my nights off, and sit in the dark and sulk, I go out and have fun with my friends, it's just not where I wish to be.

Feeling like this is dangerous right now; my 'comfort zone' (ie RD) has been wanting to get together lately. It's been hard saying no to him. He knows how to hug me and make me feel better, in the moment anyway.
I keep telling myself to just worry about today, not about 5,10,15 years down the road..so why not try to make myself happy for today and see him? Because I will feel even more lonely if I do, I think.

I have been asking God for a lot of things lately. Mostly for Him to give me reasons as to why things happened the way they did. Why He planned actions to go the way they did. I know I will probably not get an answer from His mouth to my ears. While that would be great, it would also not test my faith. It's so easy to have faith when things are going so great isn't it? It's definitely another thing, when you feel like a shell of a person, to keep trudging through and singing His praises, when you don't know why things had to go the way they did.

I do feel like God is pushing me to be more on my own. I'm wondering if the 'non-believers' in my life, are (unintentionally of course) bringing me down. I am having more patience with this, then anything in my life. I am feeling restless and cooped up. But as we all know, I am a very emotional girl, and have been known to make rash decisions. I need to be careful with big decisions. I wish I had been more careful with my heart. Can't dwell though.(as I am still upset 5 days later haha..)

My heart is also heavy for a spectacular woman who has had an incredibly difficult week. It seems the hits keep coming from out of nowhere, and she just doesn't have a moment to herself. I wish I could make her see how grateful I am to her for making a difficult decision, I'm just not sure how.

I need to figure out how to keep my heart in check, it's hard because I feel as I've done a pretty good job, and have really only lost my heart to 3 guys as far as I can remember...as I reflected yesterday, the first I was just completely infatuated with him. Completely caught up. He probably hurt me the most though. It feels good to have forgiven him, and able to talk to him every now and then, and genuinely care how he is doing :) Boy, the second though..he completely rocked my world. He taught me lots of new things. He also showed me that I have 'stick-to-it-tive-ness' I truly loved him, and I back that with my actions. That I wanted to be with him, wanted him to have his own time, his time with the guys...3 years is such a long time to give yourself day after day, especially when you get taken for granted day after day. He was not always all bad though, and I hate that I still get upset when I hear someone say something negative about him. I wonder if I'll always feel that way? I am so grateful to him though, he introduced me to Jesus. Not just by telling me how wonderful He was, but by showing me through his day to day life, how much Jesus was involved, and how great life can be when He is by your side. This guy however, did not bring Jesus into our relationship. That's probably why it didn't last. I can't say for certain though, as God does not answer all of our questions of why. The third, while brief, and only a friendship, was the only 'relationship' I have ever had, that I felt God lead me to and was a part of. It was respectful, intense, kind, and happy. I wish everything was like that, only longer :)

Since this is longer than I thought; I'll leave with a verse of comfort:

Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

And because He knows, then I shouldn't have to worry. His will, will be done. I am nothing but a humble servant. Amen.

Hills and Valleys

When it rains, it pours.

I have a lump in my throat as I am mentally scolding myself for getting emotional at work. But, I need to vent, and everytime I try to talk about it withone of my close friends, I just tear up and the conversation goes nowhere.

So, as much as I would like to let it all out...I've been told a couple times by a couple of people that I over react, and that I am dramatic.

So I'll just keep this to myself.

Thanks Kris, for being the only one who listened and just let me talk. I really really appreciate you.